Love Always, From Mayberry

Chapter fifty three

Steven and myself lay out in the sun on a towel I brought so we can fully dry off before putting our clothes back on. We continue to catch up on each others' lives the past few years. Steven talks little of his children, which I find odd. Most parents you can't get them to shut up about their kids but Steven almost acts stand offish if you bring them up.

Steven tells me all of his eccentric and wild days, and nights, past while I just smile and hold back anything of value from my life.

"You know, that's what I've always loved about you. It doesn't matter what I do, I can be honest and tell you all of the horrible things I've done and you'll love me no less. You really are perfect." Steven looks up the sun.

There it is. There's that pedestal him and everyone else keeps me on. Nothing scares me more than the word perfect, because I'm not and the world, including Steven, would indeed love me a lot less if only they knew. I'm not perfect, I'm just better at hiding the horrid things I've done. The only difference between myself and the world is the world is honest about their wrong doings and I am not.

The day with Steven came to an end. He walks me to my apartment door with us both smiling like we'd won the lottery.

"I want you to come to Alex's birthday tonight. We're all going out to Wonderland and I'd love for you to come. I didn't ask you before because I thought you'd be uncomfortable around him given what happened but now that I know how you feel, I'd love for you to come. I know he would appreciate you coming." Steven studies my facial reaction.

"I would love to come. Can I just meet you at your mom's house before you all leave?" I hated the thought of being stranded somewhere without being able to drive myself home.

"Yes, that's actually perfect. I know my mom and Marty would love to see you. She was so happy when I told her we were hanging out today." Steven grinned a boyish grin before kissing me goodbye.

My dad had called me 12 times since I'd left for my day with Steven. I hadn't mentioned Steven's reappearance to my parents knowing what chaos it would bring. When I moved out I had every intention of establishing firm boundaries with my family, especially my dad and that included his access to knowledge of my love life. I called him back before he called the police and tried to decide what to wear. I was never much of a drinker or a bar going type of girl. I had honestly never had much alcohol other than a taste here and there but I did want to spend some time with Steven. I wasn't delusional, spending a day with Steven I was reminded how incompatible we were together. Unfortunately, I no longer carried the blind optimism of my former teenage self but had developed more and more of my dad's realism as age was put on me. I'd watched the hell Steven had put his ex-wife through and numerous other women. I knew I wasn't as strong as them. I loved him too much; I wouldn't survive it. Also; I had worked so hard to get my nursing career established and move out on my own without help from anyone. I was just now learning to take care of myself on my own. I couldn't take on a relationship with someone that chaos followed.

As I'm trying on outfits for the night I decide on a teal dress with white sneakers and a simple small pair of diamond stud earrings. They were the only real diamonds I owned other than my class ring had some small diamonds. I spray my Ralph Lauren perfume and notice my phone light up. Rolling my eyes thinking it's my dad again I'm shocked to see Aaron's name appear on the screen. I answer immediately.

"Hey, Whitney, it's Aaron." His voice was deep, proper, confident.

"I know it's late to ask for tonight but I had my shifts canceled this weekend because I was in overtime so I won't be running calls. I was wondering if you'd like to go on a day date tomorrow? I don't know if you go to church but I do so I could pick you up around 1 after church? You have to say yes because I already have everything planned." I'm taken aback. This was not on my bingo card.

"I'd love to." It was out of my mouth and I meant it. Going on a date with Aaron just seemed like the responsible thing to do. I had to leave childish things behind, including this fairy tale of living a life together with my first love. I mentally planned on having a good night with Steven but letting him know it couldn't go any further. Steven and I could only ever be friends. We would hang out tonight, laugh, talk and just be friends. It had been ten years since we'd dated. There was no reason this couldn't be platonic.