Into The Shadows 🖤

s i x t e e n

Y/n

Tell me a place where I can hide.
Maybe I can dig a rabbit hole and just burrow deep inside.

I cover my face with my palms and groan loudly.

"I swear, he asked about the fragrance only because Joon mentioned it."

Maria came over in the morning with breakfast and now she says that Jungkook knows about the aphrodisiac.

What will Jungkook think about me now?

That his little angel tried to seduce him, when he clearly mentioned that he'll not touch me until I feel comfortable.

Will he think that I'm a wanton who wants to jump in bed with him?

Not to mention, I even snuck into his bed last night. Thank god, I left his room before dawn.

"What am I gonna do now?" I kick my legs in the air.

"Calm down, Y/n. I don't see what the problem is here?"

"Maria. We don't share that kind of relationship. Yet."

Confusion slashes her face. "What do you mean 'yet'?"

I don't want to tell her about our arrangement. So I just say, "We are just getting to know each other and I don't want to seem eager to jump in bed with him."

"Ohhh..."

"Yeah. Ohh."

"What do you feel for him then?" Maria asks curiously.

I have asked myself this question for the past couple of days.

"Maria, whatever we have is very platonic. Friendly. Jungkook is nice to me, he respects me and cares for me and I always have this urge to do something for him in return...

"... like I want to please him. I want him to like me."

"Please him? In bed?"

"What? No." I shriek. "Not in bed. It is nothing physical. I want him to be my person, who'll be there for me in tough times and good times. I want Jungkook to be my best friend."

And I gasped out loud when those words flew out of my mouth.

"What?" Maria sits upright. "What happened?"

"Best friend..." I am hit by those familiar words like a truck.

"Best friend, whattttt?"

Maria is clutching my palm tightly and I whisper,

"My mom." I look back at her, realization dawning on me, "My mom always told me to marry the one who is your best friend. I never understood the meaning when I was younger. Now I do."

Maria smiles in admiration. "That is so fcking true, Y/n. A life partner is a special kind of best friend not like me or Lia to you. This special one goes on a lifelong ride with you, cares for me, respects you, and loves you. Emotionally and physically."

I can imagine Jungkook in Maria's words. He cares for me, and respects me. Does he love me? Do I love him?

"Does that mean I love him?" I ask in confusion.

"I can only say that you are on the right path, Y/n. You'll know it, once it is love. For now, just allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling at the moment."

'Whatever I feel at the moment?' I want a strong relationship with Jungkook. I trust him and I like him.

Maria and I talk more about how she ended up marrying Joon and that he is a total softie at heart. I could never have imagined that the Mafia boss of the Kim Family is a cutie at heart.