"Being Ben's"

19. Intermission

The first thing Rivera did when we got back to the hotel was go to Marcus' room, knocking. Marcus opened the door, his light was now on and the tv was playing. Ben held up our intertwined hands and was beaming. I chuckled softly at him smiling, it was a good look on him. Marcus lips pressed together as he moved them to one side. "Told you."

"You did." He nodded. I raised my eyebrow. "Told him what?"

"That he'd feel better after telling you how he really felt... also I told you that he liked you back." He eyed Ben, smirking. "You were just to afraid to admit it." He looked at me. I shrugged, I still kind of am worried about what people think about us because if me family's reaction was just to us pretending, what will people who really know think.

Also, it seemed as if everyone else knew how I was feeling towards this man except for me.

"Right..." I pressed my lips together. "This brings a whole new meaning to fake til you make it."

Ben chuckled softly.

"What's that mean? Where'd you go?" Marcus asked raising his eyebrow at his uncle. Ben ignored him and I'm kind of glad he did because it'd take a lot of explanation that I didn't really want to talk about. "Um... well I'm starved so we're going to eat."

"I'm hungry too."

"Didn't you just eat?" Ben asked his nephew. Marcus shrugged. "Yeah... but I'm hungry."

I laughed.

"Alright, well come then." Ben said pulling me behind him as he turned to walk down the hallway.

It was a little bit difficult to find a restaurant that didn't have all kinds of drunk people spilling out of it but then we found a small little corner restaurant. It was quiet inside and if I spoke I felt like I was disrupting something.

I watched my wine swirl in the cup as I listened to Marcus and Ben speak in Spanish to each other, not worry about what they were saying because I had other things on my mind. It felt like I had one hundred things to worry about now, even though Ben said we'd do it together but I can't pile that on him, not with everything else.

Ben's arm swiped the table, knocking my wine glass over. It spilled out and onto my pants, I jumped back from the cold stream.

"I'm sorry, I should've been more mindful." Ben apologized. I stared at the stream of liquid falling of the table now reduced to a dripping. Ben reached out and laid a hand on my leg, making me jump. "Hey, I told you not to worry about him."

"¿Quien es él?" Marcus spoke raising an eyebrow. I lifted my eyes to Ben's and sighed, getting up and making my way to the bathroom. I stood in front of the mirror with my hands on the sink to steady myself. I heard the door opened beside me and didn't even have to look to know it was Ben.

"I'm sorry." I looked at him through the mirror. "I didn't mean to ruin dinner. There's... just a lot on my mind." I sighed. He walked over to me, closing the door. It might've been my imagination but I think I heard the lock click. He took my arm turning me to face him. "What's on your mind, Conejito?"

"My... father, my family. I- I don't know." I looked away. Ben sighed. "What did he say to you?" He pulled me closer to him, so that I wasn't leaning on the counter anymore. I was quiet then I shook my head. "It doesn't matter."

"It matters to me." He took my face in his hands. "I know you're worried about your sister... we can go back and see her sometimes soon and-."

"But they don't want me there."

"They can't stop you from coming and they won't hurt you."

"How do you know?" I grumbled and looked away.

"Because..." He leaned forward and pressed his forehead to mine. "I won't let them."

I sighed. "He just... I've tried to fit into the mold he had carved my whole life, I played the sports he wanted me to play, and I did the things he wanted me to do, but this past year I've been..." I shrugged. "Not doing that? I guess, and he just... he needs me to be the perfect twin now because Felicity is... sick."

He nodded. "I know the feeling."

"I know..." I sighed and rubbed my eyes. "That's... that's the reason I didn't want to tell you."

"You don't have to afraid to tell me anything, conejito. I want to help you." He held both of my hands in his. I nodded. "Thank you." I leaned against his chest, wrapping my arms around him. I smiled at the sound of his heart beating in his chest, beating just a bit faster then normal. It's nice to know that I can make him feel like I feel when I'm around him. "I'm sorry for ruining dinner." I said softly.  He chuckled. "No, I'm sorry for knocking your wine over, all over you. I should've been more mindful and should've been paying more attention to you instead of-."

"No, I don't care about that. I don't care about either of those things. Honestly, I like listening to you speak Spanish it's calming... when I actually listen to what you are saying."

Our phones buzzed and knew it could only be Marcus because one I only had his and two other numbers in my phone and he had put all three of us in a group chat. "Foods on the table." He looked at his phone then stuffed it back in his pocket. I nodded and sighed. "Okay, I'm starving, let's eat."

He turned to leave but I caught his arm. "Wait... can... you kiss me again?" I looked at him. He chuckled and suddenly he was the one who was grabbing me and pulling me closer to him. "Cualquier cosa por ti, conejito." Our lips mesh together but the moment was way too short lived and I think he did it on purpose. 

"Come on." He chuckled and dragged me out of the bathroom.