Harry Potter AU where everything's the same except they're Gen Z
"Can the heir of slytherin just murder me already? I have three exams today and I'm not ready for any of them" "lol mood"
"Harry did what now" "crashed a flying car into the whomping willow" "without me? Fucking rude"
*kid gets a howler* "oh shit not again" "nEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP"
"Does magic actually make cell phones go haywire is that a myth like the airplane thing that the professors use to get rid of the phones" "idk man but it can't possibly be worse than my WiFi at home"
"Oh sure, when Potter leaves school grounds to go fight crime it's 'brave' and 'heroic,' but when I do it I'm 'reckless' and 'a menace to society' "you got drunk and flew a broomstick over London dressed a Batman" "I WAS CRIMEFIGHTING, LINDA"
"Hermione, tell Ron th-" "Harry James Potter if you finish that sentence I swear on every book I own I will steal your kneecaps"
