KING CANDY: Children of the candy corn? Who'd- (realizing, GASP) The Glitch! The coin she used to buy her way into the race, that was your medal?
RALPH: She did what? I need that back!
QUEEN PIPPA: Well, I'm afraid I can't help you. It's gone, it's nothing but code now. And it'll stay that way until someone wins the cup at the end of the race.
RALPH: Well, maybe I'll just have to have a little talk with the winner then.
KING CANDY: Is that a threat I smell? (GAGS) Beyond the halitosis you so obviously suffer from?
RALPH: Listen, Nilly-Wafer, I'm not leaving without my medal!
QUEEN PIPPA: Yes, you are. Wynnchel, Duncan, get him out of that cupcake and on the first train back home. And if I EVER SEE YOU HERE AGAIN, WRECK-IT RALPH, I'll lock you in my Fungeon.
RALPH: Fungeon?
KING CANDY: Fun Dungeon. It's a play on words -- Nevermind. Now, I've got a glitch to deal with, thanks to you. Goodbye, Wreck-it Ralph! It hasn't been a pleasure.
King Candy and Queen Pippa hop into their karts and drives out of the room.
Wynnchel knocks on the cupcake.
DUNCAN: This thing's hard as a rock.
WYNNCHEL: I can see that. Get the tools.
RALPH: What tools?
Wynnchel hits Ralph with the baton.
WYNNCHEL: Quiet, you.
Duncan goes over to a chest, pulls out a chain-saw, and revs it up.
RALPH: What? No! Ah! Stay away from me!
WYNNCHEL: Hey, take it easy, big boy.
Ralph flails. He rolls back onto his feet and starts hobbling towards the door.
DUNCAN: He's getting away!
EXT. OUTSIDE THE DOUBLE CASTLE WINDOWS
Ralph and the cupcake burst through the wall and fall.
INT. BACK INSIDE THE CASTLE
Wynnchel and Duncan run to the window. They look down and see the smashed cupcake on the ground and Ralph running away.
WYNNCHEL: Quick, call out the Devil Dogs!
EXT. LOLLISTIX FOREST - A SHORT WHILE LATER
DEVIL DOGS on leashes bound through the trees and down the ravine. They stop by a chocolate stream. They lose the scent and run off down river.
A pixie stick, poking out of the stream, moves. Ralph breaks the surface.
RALPH: Argh -- I hate chocolate. (scrambling to the shore) Got to get my medal back.
He hears the ROAR of engines. Sees a bunch of racers speed by on nearby road.
RALPH: The pot goes to the winning racer!
He runs after them.
RALPH: Hey, kids! Can I talk to you for a second?
He just misses them, as they disappear around the bend and approach Vanellope, who is working on her handmade kart. It's up on a jacks.
The racers sweep in and surround her. She pushes away any evidence of fear and stands tall to meet them.
VANELLOPE: Hello, fellow racers!
Ralph peeks over the hill.
RALPH: It's that little crumbsnatcher.
Taffyta gets out of her kart and approaches Vanellope.
VANELLOPE: Candlehead, Taffyta, Rancis, you're looking well. Came by to check out the competition, huh? Well, here it is, The Lickity-Split!
ON RALPH: unimpressed.
RALPH: Jeesh. Looks like she built it herself.
BACK ON THE KIDS
VANELLOPE: Built it myself. Fastest pedal-power west of the Whack-A-Mole. Check her out.
Vanellope hops in her kart and starts pedalling. The gears catch and spin. She honks a quite silly horn.
TAFFYTA: Oh, Vanellope, it's so... you. But you have to back out of the race, yeah.
Vanellope gets out of her kart and approaches Taffyta.
VANELLOPE: Oh, no, I don't, because, y'know, I paid my fee and I'm on the board. So, yeah, I'm definitely racing.
TAFFYTA: Yeah, well, King Candy and Queen Pippa says glitches can't race.
VANELLOPE: I'm not a glitch, Taffyta. (she glitches) I've just got pixlexia, okay?
Ignoring her, Taffyta walks over to Vanellope's kart.
TAFFYTA: The rules are there for a reason, Vanellope. To protect us. (getting in Vanellope's kart) Say I'm you. I'm in my weird little car, and I'm driving, and I actually feel kinda cool for once. And then, all of a sudden, oh no! I'm gl-gl-gl-gl-gl-glitching!
Taffyta rips the steering wheel right off.
VANELLOPE: Hey!
TAFFYTA: See? You're an accident just waiting to happen.
JUBILEENA: Oh, no! I g-g-g-glitched, too!
Jubileena goes over to the kart, flails and smacks the hood loose. Vanellope rushes over to her kart, but other racers get in her way and block her.
ON RALPH: Disturbed by what he's seeing.
RALPH: Uncool.
BACK ON THE KIDS: The other racers tear apart the kart.
VARIOUS RACERS: Oh no, I glitched. I glitched. Look out, I'm glitching.
VANELLOPE: Stop it! Stop! You're breaking it! Please!
Vanellope grabs Taffyta (glitching her as well) and spins her around to face her.
VANELLOPE: I just wanna race like you guys!
TAFFYTA: You'll never be a racer, because you're a glitch. And that's all you'll ever be!
Taffyta pushes Vanellope, who goes flying back, and lands SPLAT in the mud.
ON RALPH: That's the last straw; he jumps up.
RALPH: Hey! Leave her alone!
He runs down the hill, flails his arms. They SCREAM in terror and run to their cars.
TAFFYTA: Let's get out of here!
The racers drive off.
RALPH: Scram, you rotten little cavities, before I throw YOU in the mud!
Ralph puffs up. He turns to Vanellope.
She wipes away tears, while sifting through the wreckage of her kart.
VANELLOPE: What are YOU looking at?
RALPH: You're welcome, you rotten little thief.
VANELLOPE: I'm not a thief. I just borrowed your stupid coin. I was gonna give it back to you as soon as I won the race.
RALPH: It's not a coin. It is a medal.
VANELLOPE: Coin. Medal. Whatever. Just go back to your own dumb game and win another one.
RALPH: I can't. I didn't win it in my game. I won it in Hero's Duty.
VANELLOPE: Hero's Doodie? (SNIGGERS)
RALPH: It's not that kind of duty.
VANELLOPE: I bet you really gotta watch where you step in a game called Hero's Doodie! (LAUGHS) What did you win a medal for, wiping? I hope you washed your hands after you handled that medal.
YOU ARE READING
Wreck It Ralph
FanfictionArcade-game character Wreck-It Ralph is tired of always being the "bad guy" and losing to his "good guy" opponent, Fix-It Felix. Finally, after decades of seeing all the glory go to Felix, Ralph decides to take matters into his own hands. He sets of...
