RALPH: Listen!
VANELLOPE: One more. One more: why did the hero flush the toilet? Say why.
RALPH: Why.
VANELLOPE: Because it was his doodie!
RALPH: How dare you insult Hero's Duty, you little guttersnipe! I earned that medal, and you better get it back for me, toot-sweet, sister!
VANELLOPE: Well, unless you've got a go-kart hidden in the fat folds of your neck, I can't help you!
Ralph makes like he wants to crush her, but takes his anger out onto a few nearby candy trees instead. He then punches a giant jawbreaker. It doesn't so much as crack. He tries again.
Nothing. Incensed, he repeatedly pounds on it-- temper-tantrum style.
VANELLOPE: What a moron. (calling to Ralph) Hey genius, it's a jawbreaker! You're never gonna break --
It cracks clean in half. That gives her an idea.
VANELLOPE: Huh.
Ralph plops down on a rock, out of breath. Vanellope comes over and leans against a nearby jawbreaker.
VANELLOPE: Enjoy your little tantrum, diaper baby?
RALPH: Leave me alone.
VANELLOPE: Look, you want that medal, right? And I want to race. So, here's what I'm thinking; you help me get a new kart, a REAL kart, and I'll win the race and get you back your medal.
RALPH: You want me to help you?
VANELLOPE: All you got to do is break something for me. Come on, what do you say, friend?
She holds out a hand. He doesn't take it right away.
RALPH: We are not friends.
VANELLOPE: Oh, come on, pal. You son of a gun. Come on, buddy. Let's shake on it. Ah. Come on, chumbo. Ralph, my man. My main man. Hey. My arm's getting tired. We have a deal or not?
RALPH: (GRUNTS) You better win.
He takes her little hand, and they shake on it.
EXT. SUGAR RUSH - CRUISER - FLYING - DAY
Felix, Maddie, and Calhoun get a bird's eye view of Ralph's wreckage.
CALHOUN: I'll say this much, they don't call your friend Wreck-It for nothing. There's the shuttle.
She lands the cruiser.
EXT. SUGAR RUSH - THE BROKEN SHIP
Calhoun does a military run up to the ship, gun raised. She circles it, checks the cockpit.
Felix and Maddie approach cautiously.
FELIX: Is he in there?
MADDIE: Nope. Lucky for him, otherwise I would have slapped his corpse -- No Cy-Bug either.
She pulls out her tri-quarter bug sensor and starts scanning.
CALHOUN: Got to find it before it lays its filthy eggs.
EXT. CANDY CANE FOREST - TAFFY PIT
Calhoun, Maddie, and Felix pass the pit. She's getting a faint signal on the sensor. It scrambles. She smacks it. It scrambles more.
MADDIE: It came this way, but the sugar particles in the atmosphere are jamming her sensor; can't get a read on it.
They walk on.
CALHOUN: So, what is it with this Wreck-it Joker, huh? Why'd he go AWOL?
FELIX: I wish I knew, ma'am. He was acting all squirrelly last night, going on about cake and medals. (distraught) But I never thought he'd go Turbo.
YOU ARE READING
Wreck It Ralph
FanfictionArcade-game character Wreck-It Ralph is tired of always being the "bad guy" and losing to his "good guy" opponent, Fix-It Felix. Finally, after decades of seeing all the glory go to Felix, Ralph decides to take matters into his own hands. He sets of...
