ISSUES 2 II OUTERBANKS S3/S4

come back home

"The doors to your home are never closed."

❥

I'm surprised that I wake up so relaxed. Usually when doing coke, Rafe couldn't sleep at all, was awake all night long. But when I wake up in his arms the next morning, I feel fully awake. I mean after that night, I've needed a lot of rest. Rafe kept his promise. He ate me out in the best way possible. Sex was never an issue between us but that kind of great sex is new.

"Hey", Rafe whispers in a raspy voice. Anyone help me. This voice, dear god. "Morning", I smile at him letting Rafe kiss me softly. "Any regrets?", he asks interestedly but I shake my head. "How could anyone regret this?" "Good to know how to make you happy", Rafe smiles at me softly, "You're mine, Bella, and I'm yours."

I don't know how to react so I just nod and smile back at him. We cuddle for a few minutes until we get up. I know that he wants us to go back to how it was and I'd like to say ‚sure, let's do it' but it's not that easy. Not right now. We still need some time and I would have to slowly introduce the pogues to the new situation. I also want to spend some time alone first. JJ and I are over only since a few days.

"I think I'll visit Anna and Christian today", I tell Rafe hoping for him to tell me his opinion and that it'd help me. "Sounds like a good idea", Rafe supports me and pulls me closer to him so I rest my head on his chest. Definitely missed that part of it all. "They should know that you're back", he agrees further on, "Let's have breakfast first?"

Rafe and I had waffles for breakfast before I left to see Anna and Christian. I haven't been this nervous in such a long time. I plan to see Kie afterwards so it's quite an emotionally disturbing day. "Isabella?", Anna calls me as soon as she notices that I'm walking on the balcony towards the entrance, "Isabella, honey, is that you?"

"Hey, Anna", I greet her ashamed for having her worry about me. "God, I'm so glad to see you again", Anna states in a mixture of luck and sadness. Some tears run down her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Anna. I'm sorry for.. actually for everything." As soon as she's hugged me, I feel a huge burden fall down my shoulders but I always feel a lot more guilty.

"Anna, who's he-", I hear Christian coming closer, "Isabella." Christian storms over to me and pulls Anna and me into his arms tightly. "Don't you ever scare us this much again. We're been worried sick." "I'm sorry, Christian." "Have you been with Kiara all this time?" "Yeah, I don't know what she's told you but we've been stranded on a lonely island but we got back here without anyone being hurt."

"She hasn't spoken a lot.. a lonely island.. God, I'm glad that you're fine." "Where have you been the past days? Kiara got back a few days ago but she.. well you know.. she hasn't spent a lot of time here." "I've been staying at Tanneyhill. I was afraid of.. coming back here. I know that you had some struggles with Kie and I and I'm sorry for the part that I've played in these struggles. But the pogues and I will stay here for now."

"We're glad you're back", Anna assures me, "But please rethink your commitment to the pogues. We've had this conversation with Kiara already. You live here in figure eight, Isabella.. whether you're here with us or at Tanneyhill." "Those pogues are holding you back, dear", Christian agrees with his wife, "It's in your own interest."

Maybe Christian's right regarding some issues and maybe I should have concentrated more on my family. I'll consider this in my next hour of worries. "I guess you're right", I admit halfway giving in. I'd still hold onto the pogue even though I feel a lot more betrayed. God if it wasn't about Pope and John B, JJ and Kie would probably not see me anymore.

"Why don't you come back here and sleep in your old room?", Anna suggests lovely. "Kie and I.. we've got some issues at the moment. I don't think she'd be amused if she sees me here." "Whatever happened she'll understand you for sure", Anna tries to calm me down but I shake my head.

"I'll stay at Tanneyhill for a while until Kie and I have figured it out but thanks for the offer, Anna. Thanks for everything by the way. I'll come back for sure. It'll just take some time." "Okay.. as long as you are alright", she nods hugging me once again, "But this will always be your home. Come back whenever." "Of course, thank you", I smile at her and turn to Christian afterwards, "Have you heard something from my dad?"

"Unfortunately, no, nothing at all", he shakes his head and looks really sad, "He said he would call but.." "I'm sure they'll be back soon, Isabella. Dana wouldn't just let you be here alone", Anna comforts me but I only nod. I don't care about dad. I shouldn't care about him.. just like he never cared about me. "Are you sure that you want to stay at Tanneyhill?", Christian asks me, "I've heard that Rafe is back."

"He is", I confirm, "But he's okay now. He's not dangerous for me." "I know that your dad might have trusted Ward but I remember the marks on your wrists. I can't let you live there knowing what's happened between you two.. He's not good for you." "Rafe's changed or at least he's changing at the moment. I know what it looked like when we've had that conversation with Ward but it's not been as bad as it looked like. We're also working on his issues and I actually trust him. He wouldn't hurt me willingly", I defend Rafe in front of Christian.

Rafe wouldn't hurt me willingly. Not like JJ and Kie did. God, I'm still so disappointed in them. I'm even afraid of seeing them again. What would they say? "Are you still with JJ?", Christian asks me interestedly but I shake my head. "No why?", I wonder about his sudden question.

"Kiara was a little.. feisty much when I warned her about the pogues. I know you're friends with John B and Pope but remember where you come from, Bella", Christian tells me, "You've always been a lot easier than Kie and you wouldn't throw away your life. So please don't change it now."

I only nod trying to act like I care. I'm done having people tell me what I should do or not. But I appreciate them caring about me so I thank them smiling before I leave to visit Pope. I'd visit Christian and Anna more often but I'll stay at Tanneyhill for now.