ISSUES 2 II OUTERBANKS S3/S4

new beginnings - s4

The royal merchant and El Dorado. Two mysteries solved by pogues. It's incredible what each of us has accomplished. Yet here we are at the port jumping down from a cargo ship after traveling for three weeks. None of us expected to fly back with the jet but it's kind of weird sitting on this ship with a few kilograms of gold in our backpacks.

I breathe in Kildare's air slowly. With Big John dying, we've left a piece of us behind in El Dorado. I don't know what it will do to us but it's a huge loss for all of us. Even Ward.. he was the most likeable enemy that we've had and in the end, he's saved our lives. We say goodbye to Big John altogether back at the chateau and Sarah and I say goodbye to Ward privately.

„I have to visit my dad. He should know that we're alive", Pope sighs after some time, „John B, you've got the gold?"

„Sarah and I take care of it."

„I'll say hello to my dad and be back soon", I agree with Pope and start walking towards Figure eight thinking back to what happened.

It's been a hell of a ride but would I change a thing? No. We've found Big John, the gold, more gold. We got to know Cleo. We all grew closer. Yet we've lost the chateau, our home. We've lost Big John. Sarah and I've lost Ward. I know she's hurting even though she tries to pretend it's alright. Ward loved Sarah in his own confusing way. I know what it feels like because I haven't seen my mom since we've jumped off the boat. I know dad and her wanted Rafe to get me back to wherever they're hiding but since dad has moved back to Kildare I've been wondering if mom might ever come back. Maybe dad went back to mom so I won't even meet him at home. I'm kind of nervous to see who will be there. Last time when we came back from poguelandia, I was surprised to find Rafe in Tanneyhill. It'd be easy if I was alone there so I could go back to the guys quickly.

„Isabella Scott, is that you?"

„Huh?"

I shake my thoughts off and look up finding James in front of his home. I try to give him a smile but tiredness and confusion are keeping me from feeling delighted.

„Did you say Isabella Scott is here?"

James' sister Abigail runs from the back garden towards the front of the house. Both siblings look surprised to see me. When I reach for my neck to scratch it nervously, Abigail comes closer and throws her arms around me.

„Everyone thought you were dead. This is the second time you've shocked us."

„I'm alive", I gasp surprised and realize what she's talking about. Poguelandia, El Dorado. Both times, we've been far away from home without knowing if we ever find a way to get back. I'm used to running away and coming back by now. Pogue life has been different but I've never worried around my friends.

„You should be! We've been so worried if we'd ever see you again and-"

„Abs, don't pressure her", James nudges his sister. Abigail nods seeming to understand my situation. I can tell he's empathetic so I give him another light smile appreciating the kind gesture. It's been some time since Abigail and I hung out. I've always been hanging out with both pogues and kooks. While Kie and Sarah have been together when Kie went to kook school, I've spent most of my time with Abigail and Kim. When the situation between Rafe and I changed I've mainly stayed at the cut. I didn't think the kooks would want to see me so I stayed in the back.

Today I realize that Abigail seems to be really happy to see me.

„I'm sorry, Isa. Just know that you can call Kim and I whenever, alright?"

I thank Abigail by forcing my lips to form a smile and she leaves James and me alone. She probably knows that I'm still confused. I don't look like I've taken a bath already.

„Congratulations, Isabella", James nods warmly making me furl my eyebrows in confusion.

„What for?"

„You and your friends found the royal merchant and the gold. You must be proud."

Proud? I've felt relieved when we thought it's over but right now, I don't know how I feel. I'm excited to sell the gold with the pogues but when I'm not around them, I'm lonely. I don't know where else I belong and who I am anymore. I used to plan going to college with Pope.

I shake my head lightly. This journey cost us way too many sacrifices. After realizing that Big John and Ward are dead, I don't feel the slightest bit proud. None of them might have been perfect but both of them gave me a home when I didn't have my parents around me and I'll be forever thankful for their support.

My sadness doesn't hit slowly. Tears stream down my cheeks immediately and I cry loudly as I fall onto the ground. I face the reality for what it is. Life has been better than we fought before all of this happened and it hurts me that I haven't appreciated it enough. I'm still sad about my family but what happened to us is worse than I'd imagined. Surely, we made it back with the gold but I wonder if it was worth it. I feel an arm around me but don't have the energy to shake it off.

„Isa, hey, let me help you." James reached out to save me from falling down hard. James lets me sit down on the ground and joins me as he closes his arms around me and strokes my back slowly „Whatever happened, you gave your best."

„I didn't", I sniff shaking my head, „I should have helped, saved them." „Saved who?" My heart stops for a second. No one knows what happened. No one knows that we should have saved them. I should have saved them. They gave me a home and I didn't help them.

„Isa, are you-"

„I'm sorry. I need to head home." I shake my head quickly. The least I should do is quickly tell dad and Rafe what happened. They need to know.

„Wait, I'll-"

I've already started running back to Tanneyhill so I don't hear James' voice in the background. I walk the whole way not caring about how much I've been walking these past days. We've been running for our lives so many times.. I can't remember when I used my legs for a comfortable walk.