ISSUES 2 II OUTERBANKS S3/S4

kook nights

During our dinner conversation, I haven't found anything out about James' intentions. I didn't remember that I planned to dig deeper but I completely forgot about it. James and I have been laughing most of the time which leaves me smiling on my way back to Tanneyhill. The party will start soon so I figured it's better to take a shower and change my clothes here instead of the cut.

„Isabella, what are you doing here?", dad asks me surprised but corrects himself, „I mean I'm glad you're here, just surprised." „I know, dad", I chuckle and walk over to hug him.

„How are you all doing? Do you need anything?" „We're fine. It'll take some time until we're finished but we enjoy being together."

„Who? You and James?", Rafe appears in the threshold making my stomach churn. Of course he needs to mention his name in front of dad. It wouldn't surprise me if he already made pictures of us behind our bag. Dad turns to me with a look of expectancy. „James Holland? Thomas' son?"

„Yes, James, but he's just helped out today. Abi told him what we do and stopped by on his free day." „Just like Thomas. When Ward and I have been working on the construction here, he'd stopped by every day to ask if we need help."

Rafe sighs as his plan didn't work out. Dad might believe I'm hanging out with James but he's excited rather than cautious. Dad opens his mouth to probably tell another story but his phone rings and he excuses himself. To avoid a conversation with Rafe, I quickly turn around to head towards the chairs.

„What's your plan, Bella? Go to college with James and pretend none of this ever happened?", he calls after me. I should keep walking, take a shower and leave the house. Instead I make the mistake and let myself in for a discussion. I should have known better.

„I neither hang out with James nor do I pretend any of this happened", I make clear, „Rafe, I am so sorry about Ward, okay? I know what he means to you and none of us deserved to lose someone we love. We didn't kill him. Do you really believe Sarah and I would do this? Do you think so badly of us?"

„Them for sure but I don't know what I should think about you anymore." I scoff shocked that he would ever talk to me this way. He's said many harsh things to me during the past months so this is another one for the collection.

„That's not your business anymore, Rafe. I was willing to have a friendship with you because of all these moments that we share. Yet here you are threatening me, putting me under pressure, acting as if we are on two different sides."

„Because we are, Bella. I'm crazily mad at you. Why do you keep hating me when all I've tried was saving what's left of us?"

„What is there to save, Rafe? I've told you I'm with you, I gave it one more chance before you lied to me about the cross and when I approached you once more, I've found you with Sofia. This is bullshit, Rafe. All this time you tell me how you love me and I find you with someone else? This isn't love."

Rafe laughs frustratedly. „You're one to talk, miss Maybank, and don't forget how James looked at you at my party." Rafe will never understand how I feel, the inbetween loving and hating him. I won't argue anymore. „If you'll ever need me, I'm here."

I'm about an hour late to James' party because I didn't want everyone who comes after me to immediately see me. I know some of his friends from school but not many as he's older than me and already in college. Luckily, it seems like most people have already arrived. 

„I almost doubted if you'd still come over", James greets me as soon as he swings the door open. I nod shyly not knowing how to greet him. He seems to understand my insecurity so he just waves me in with a smile. „Ha, see, our girl's here", Cleo cheers as she drags Pope with her to find me. It's crazy spending every day with these people and still miss them when they're not around. 

„I didn't think you'd come but I also wasn't aware that Cleo was serious about going to this party." „Ay, Iz needed some motivation to be here. Although I'd say, the guy with the British name is a whole lot of motiviation to get out of bed." „Or into bed", Pope adds causing Cleo and I to gasp. 

„Holy shit, Pope, did you just say this? Weren't you like the calm pogue?", Kim stops buy in the right moment to hear his comment and stares at him with wide eyes. I join her joke which is actually the truth and place my hand on his shoulder. „I'm proud of you, boy." 

Pope rolls his eyes at me, „You sound like John B." „She's literally the female version of him", Cleo states ironically making me shrug. „Grew up there. Maybe I need more kooks around me", I act cool and laugh with my friends. „It's really great to have you two here", Kim tells Cleo and Pope seriously, „Are the others coming as well? I haven't seen Sarah in ages." 

Cleo continues having the conversation with Kim as they follow her to the living room where some of James' friends seem to wait for them. This might be just right for Pope as James and him are both smart and I hear his friends and Pope talk a lot about college. I'm happy for Pope that he can finally talk about these topics to someone as I'm the only one of us who's planning to go to college eventually.

„Don't worry. They're having a good time", James tells me and gives me a cup of beer, „I remember you prefered it over some sweet drinks." How does he remember all this? We've been to a few partys but never talked about me this much. „Where's Abs?", I ask him hoping that I can follow her around for tonight. I don't like adding myself to a group of people who already have a conversation that I might interrupt. „Hasn't she told you? Mom and her are visiting UCLA." 

„Oh, right." I nod slowly looking around. Kelce's brother and cousin are here but that's it so far. „Why don't you join me in the kitchen? I might have a cocktail idea that I'd like to show you. Nothing too sweet." I mean, it's my best option at the moment and he's making an effort to.. whatever he's got on his mind so I follow him.