ISSUES 2 II OUTERBANKS S3/S4

pogue enough

"You can't change what's already happened."

❥

It's late when I get back and Rafe's already sleeping so I just change my clothes and lay down next to Rafe in his bed. "Good night, Bella", Rafe mumbles sleepily instinctively laying his arm around my waist and I smile. If we had been friends like this all the time, I would have had less problems. 

"Good night, Rafe", I whisper trying to sound normal. I would want to talk to him but now is not the right time. Tomorrow's another day. I'm also glad that after so many weeks, I get to come home, sleep in a bed, and someone wishes me a good night. I've missed normal conversations.

"I could ask Heyward for the truck", Pope suggests for whatever kind of plan that they've got now as I arrive at the chateau. I'm a little late because Rafe and I had breakfast first. I was about to talk to him but had to leave quickly so here I am standing in front of good friends and those who betrayed me. 

"The truck.. For what? Do we need it?", I ask confused and hug Cleo who's next to me when I see her. "Are you feeling better?", she asks me quietly. I think about it for a second. "Honestly, no", I admit. I'm not someone who takes forever to get over someone like.. Topper for example. 

Well, he'll probably never get over Sarah. I'm just still afraid of facing Kie and JJ. I might see them in front of me but I haven't didn't look at them for more than a second. "Babe, hey", JJ whispers touching my leg softly as he sits next to where I am. 

I glace at him for another second and smile lightly trying to behave as normal as possible. Should I confront them right here, right now? How do I start the conversation? Do I talk to JJ alone? All of this would be less dramatic if we didn't risk our friendship in general. 

Do they expect me to stay in Figure Eight when they start dating? Pope and Cleo might have listened to me yesterday but what would John B and Sarah say? "So you're here finally?", Kie greets me skeptically looking up. I don't miss her glancing at JJ and where his hand rests on my leg. 

God, Kie, if you wanted him you could have been with him long enough before we started dating. Instead, they begin their romance in the middle of another treasure hunt and in the middle of our relationship. 

"I was running late", I reply to her coldly. "Yeah? Running late so you get Rafe's bike?" "God, Kie", I groan, "Don't act like Rafe's the problem when it's just right for you. The more time I spend in Figure Eight, the more time you get to be with JJ." "What-" 

"And you", I turn to JJ and shrug his hand off my leg, "Keep your hands to yourself." "What is going on now?", Sarah asks confused as I walk over to her to distance myself from JJ and Kiara. I should have known it way earlier. It's always been JJ and Kie, Kie and JJ. 

"Iz, baby, what's going on?", JJ asks gesturing calmly. "Well.. Are you pogue enough to tell me", I repeat his words emphasizing them, "What's going on?" I see Pope and Cleo sitting down between us to watch how it's going in case they'd have to intervene. Sarah sits between Kie and I and looks confused from JJ to me and back. 

I've finally found the courage to look at JJ. He knows what I'm talking about, he just doesn't know how much I've heard of it. "Nothing's going on, Iz. It was about how we got here. We had to stop in St. Kitts to get some petrolium. That's why we arrived later than you did." 

"Bullshit", Pope interrupts JJ to my surprise. I'm definitely not used to Pope raising his voice. I have to admit, a furious Pope is a great Pope. He needs to speak up for himself more often. "Pope", JJ warns him harshly. "You can't stop what's already happened, bro", Cleo butts in. 

I'd normally laugh because she's got the same humor as I do but right now, I'm too stiff. What if Sarah turns against me? Kie and her got really close. "God, Iz, it's been an almost kiss", Kie groans, "Don't take yourself so seriously. Nothing's happened." 

"What?", Sarah spits out of surprise, "You almost kissed? JJ, Kie, why? When?" JJ is about to shrug it off but Pope butts in. "On the boat when we were on our way back from Barbados. You were asleep." "Seriously, guys? Bella's just left a few hours ago and you mack on each other?", Sarah confronts them and turns to me giving me sad look. Good. Sarah understands me. 

I don't want anyone to hate JJ or Kiara but I need them to understand why I'm not talking to them anymore while we're on our treasure hunt. "Nothing happened!", Kie complains, "It's not like we were cheating on you. It was the heat of the moment causing us to act weirdly." "Iz, baby, look at me", JJ asks me but I try my best to ignore him. 

"Don't give me any nicknames", I hiss, "And don't come up with some excuses. I've heard it all, you know. I've heard you and I've seen you. It wasn't weird in a bad way, right?" "You've seen it?", JJ asks me worriedly and I nod, this time I glance at him coldly. 

"You know.. you might not have kissed or worse but.. there are feelings involved which makes it so much harder to even look at you. You would have never told me. Plus, it happened twice in just one day." "So what about you and Rafe?", Kiara's head shoots up confronting me, "You're not even half a pogue, Bella." 

"Not half a pogue?", I laugh frustrated, "May I remind you of this summer? I was there, Kie. I was there the whole time. I was pogue enough to assist Pope in drowning Topper's boat, to fight the kooks, to crash midsummers, to try to get John B out of prison with JJ, to strand on a lonely island with a group of people who I considered my family." "You-" 

"No, Kiara. I'm done discussing my status. It's your insecurity speaking. I'm not letting myself be involved with your overreaction when it's you who can't even apologize." "Izzy-" Instead of listening to JJ, I pull his ring out of my jacket and throw it right in front of him. 

"Forever lasted long", I shrug and step forward to leave but turn around when I'm halfway through the garden, "Text me where I have to be at what time, S. I'm pogue enough to walk through shit with Pope, Cleo, John B and you."