the love that i give

Bonding 2.1

we got to the room and I sat on the window ledge and Derrick stood infront of me. I turned to look at him just to find him already staring at me, "I'm listening" he said. I took a deep breath and tried to put my words together,

"Don't get mad at me okay? and please, I want the honest truth, I won't judge you for any answer you give, just answer these two questions sincerely" I finished and he nodded,

"first question, do you ever have plans of finding your child with your ex-girlfriend? maybe not now but in the future?" I asked and at that instant I regretted why I asked that.

Derrick was silent. He didn't say anything, not even a sigh, "it's okay, forget I asked that" I said getting up and walked by him to the door,

"Yes" He said which made me stop in my tracks. I turned and looked at him and he was staring out the window,

"You will?" I asked again and he nodded, "I really want to know why, but you can choose not to tell me?" I said,

"I just thought about how my dad made my mum, my sister and I suffer and after you rescued Javon and everything it touched my heart, so yes I am looking for my child because I don't want to be like my dad, I want to be the dad I never got to have" Derrick said and it made me tear a little bit,

"Will you support me?" He asked and I nodded, "off course I will, if there's anything i can help with, just let me know and I will run to your rescue" I said and we both smiled.

I sighed and proceeded to ask my next question, "why did you choose to sign as Javons father?" I asked,

"I want to get the feeling of what it feels like to be a father before I get to meet my child, I'm not using Javon as an experiment or anything, your dad also the way he welcomed me and the way he talked to me softened my heart and it made me change my mind and I also see the way you already love him and seeing you happy, is all I need" Derrick said making me smile,

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the idea, I just thought of it and decided to talk to my parents" I said,

" I wouldn't lie, I sure was angry because of the way I found out, and I will really appreciate it if you tell me things before time Elyssa, I mean aren't you being unfair?" He asked and I furrowed my brows,

"What do you mean?" I asked back, "you always want know what is going on with me but you never tell me what is going on with you" Derrick said,

I felt this one. I couldn't say anything, I had no excuse in my mind, "but I believe you will open up to me one day when you are finally comfortable with me" He said again.

"Come on its not like that, I'm not uncomfortable with you its just...." I couldn't finish, "just what?" he asked,

"look babe, I'm comfortable around you a hundred percent trust me, its just I find it hard to open up to people, even Vanessa and Kaysha, they always force things out of me, I'm working on it and I'm trying to change" I said and he nodded

"Just please let me know if there's anything and right now we are going to be parents so its only fair you get me involved in everything" Derrick said and I nodded

He pulled me into a hug and we stayed like that for a while until pulling away and looking into each others eyes.

I stood on my toes and gave him a quick kiss and was about to run away when he held my hand and pulled me back making me to bump into his body giggling,

"what?" I asked smiling and he looked down on me smiling. He picked me up and now, I was straddlig him.

He walked to the bed and sat on it with me still straddling him, "you are so beautiful" he whispered with his head in my neck making me feel ticklish, I giggled.