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pun intended

Dis is 4 faNy porpozs!!
U do nut lyk?????
(Forgive me but I just want to have fun xD just ask me if you can't read it)
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Meay
As quekly as i Can, i wlked ova StrBx.
"Wht u wnt 4 y0ur ordr, mam?" Da ledi askd.
"I wnt a grande vanila frapuchino." I replahd, in a forst BrtSH axent.
Da ledi luked wirdly at me but noded.
"Neym, mam?"
"Mey meple. Like da meple syrap." I in4med hr, filing s0 fabyulus.
Az i wok out a wyle letah, da frap in hnd, i bumpt in2 som1 famliar.
I on-purpposly spiled mah frap in his shert. Wich waz obvs wyt.
Becuz i red in 1D ff tht if u spil a frap on sum1, dey tern out to b femus.
He is lyk so fmliar!!!!!1!
I min, i'ts not lyk i sow his feys in every bilbord, so him 1n olmost evry tv show, nor in soshal medja.
"Helo." He said, in a natral bRitish axent. "I am droo. Nys 2 mit u wer u been, i can sho u incredbl tings."
I blashed bt quekli shuk da thot of.
Wht i thinking???!!! I het droo haiden. He iz non 4 bein arogant.
"I-i-i-i-i a-a-am M-m-m-meh." I statird. I kN fill da swet growing. Lol dis iz a mol. How can i swet???!!11!!
"Meh, dat is bootipul nem." He compleement. "Meh, i kno we onli met a fiow mins. Ag0 bt i luv u will u be my gf..?.."
I cryed. How cud sum1 lav me?! Im so ugly!!!!1
But i sed dos wrdz anyw4y.
"Yes!"
He tek me to his concert dat i delayed 4 an hour.
"Every1, dis is mah gf, meh meple."
"How u kno my lazt nem????!! We r ova!"
I ran out crying nd saw blak silouets.
A froz in fek fear. Droo wll seyv mi!!
"Who u?!" I cry.
"Lol we r gangsterz duh" one of dem seyd in a duh ton.
"Seyv me, Drooooo!!!"
He crasht nd beat dem up.
"Dis is so rusht bt will u merreh me???!"
Tear startd to frm on my fez.
"Yeahs!!"
You don't know how much pain I went through xD
Seriously.. If you make a story, please don't make this!
This is based off 1D clichè btw.