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Why I Love Contestshipping

Before I start the Q and A, I'll start with why I love this ship. And a random thingamajig.

Me: It's practically the one closest to canon, I guess *shrugs* but that's not it!!
What I mean is that it is just so damn perfect! Not even in words I can describe it.
It's just too bad this show aims at kids around the age of 7-10...
It's not like they had a kiss scene or something (even though I wish there was =3=) but their relationship is so cute! And it's quite relatable for me.
It does feel fun to insult your *cough* friend *cough*.
Drew: *glares at me*
Me: Riiight, anyway, they have this thing called chemistry existing between them.
I am so dumbfounded at the ship Steven x May, I mean, come on, Steven is an old geezer-- I mean- too old for May! What is his age? Like 25 or something.
May: I'm being shipped with Steven-san?! *horrified*
Me: I know, I feel you, girl. *puts hands on May's shoulders dramatically with effects and everything*
*clears throat*
And anyway, I know most argue that age is just a number but seriously, just because in the Oras arc Steven said "That's why I like you so much" does NOT mean that he likes her romantically and I will repeat and emphasize- He is old.
Steven: I'm not that old!!
Me: I mean... Too old for May, now shoo, Steven, I'm not done with my rant so go away!
Steven has insisted to stay and there, due to his persistence, Author-sama killed him with her very own bare hands with a butcher's knife and an atomic bomb. His life tragically ended on June 23, 2076. He was a--
Steven: Hey! I'm not dead!!
Me: *rolls eyes* Yeah, whatever.
Steven: FYI, I support Contestshipping!
Me: *gasps* You do?! Are we long lost best friends?!
Steven: I'm your brother, author-sama!
Me: Onii-san!! I can't believe it! What is x⁴+8xy•968 by the way?
May: Um.. Should we start the disclaimer?
Me: *wipes away tears* Sure!
May: Author-sama is not liable for death, destruction of property or rage felt by supporters of Steven x Me and--
Drew: Hey, you're reading the wrong one! It's this!!
May and Drew: Um.. Author-sama is not affiliated or is in any sort related to the owner of Pokemon. She simply wishes that.. May.. And Drew... End.. Up.
Steven: Togetherrrrrr!!!!!
Me: *sparkle* Their voices are in sync!!
May: Stagemen, please close the curtains now.
Me: Wait!! No I still--
End-