SKZ - bxb imagines

In a Box // SeungBin

genre: angst
ship: seungbin (seungmin x changbin)
warnings: only that i'm sorry

for the past three years, seungmin had been collecting mementos. most were photos hung up on his wall of him and/or his friends or small trinkets strewn about the surfaces of his house. there were even designated areas for certain people.

but one person had something more special. aside from his small spot on the wall of photos, seungmin would save more personal mementos in a shoebox under his bed. a bracelet the man had bought for him, a guitar pick from when he taught him how to play, and photos of just him.

and his name was seo changbin.

the two had met in a composition class on their campus when seungmin was a first year and changbin was a second year. they hit it off, getting close with another classmate by the name of chan, who was a third year.

something about changbin had always interested seungmin. he'd had a few crushes before, including one from high school by the name of jeongin. changbin though, was different. for once seungmin thought he had a shot, as changbin was also attracted to men and certainly seemed alright with flirting.

but for three years seungmin didn't make a move. for three years they were close friends. for three years they supported each other like brothers. for three years seungmin wondered if it was really worth it.

until he realized that for two years they'd been close friends. for two years they'd supported each other like brothers. but for a year seungmin was putting in much more effort than changbin.

it was the younger who texted good morning or good night. it was the younger that offered tutoring or asked for help. it was the younger that suggested places to hang out, to go eat, to club.

it was never changbin. not anymore.

he was losing changbin. he knew it. he just didn't want to accept it.

he didn't have a choice when felix came along.

felix was seungmin's age and was introduced to changbin through their friend chan. immediately, the two hit it off and no one else existed to them. chan was sidelined by felix, seungmin was sidelined by changbin. the two were together no matter what and seungmin slowly gave up trying.

he stopped saying good morning or good night.

he stopped recommending restaurants.

he stopped offering movie nights or clubbing.

he stopped.

and suddenly changbin was back, asking seungmin where he'd gone, if he was okay, why he wasn't replying.

seungmin ignored changbin. only occasionally would he respond with a "with my study group" or "the professor that doesn't like me is making me do more work" which were both lies; he didn't have a study group nor did any professor dislike him.

it got to the point that changbin was so agitated he showed up at the younger's apartment.

seungmin opened the door, expecting anyone but changbin to be there.

"where the hell have you been?"

"what?"

"you've disappeared off the face of the earth! i thought you died!" changbin walked past seungmin into the apartment.

"nice of you to notice." seungmin said, closing the door.

"what do you mean nice of me to notice?"

"you've been busy. i thought you'd just forget about me."

"why would i do that?" changbin was still mad, especially at how calm seungmin was.

"what made you come here? i haven't contacted you in over a month. why notice now? don't you have places to be? people to see?"

"are you saying i'm not allowed to be friends with other people?"

"i never said that. i'm saying that you don't seem to care enough to contact your so-called 'friends.'" he put air quotes around the word.

"seungmin what the hell are you saying? why are you being like this?"

"because i like you changbin. i've liked you for a long time."

"what?"

"but you never knew because you were too busy loving someone else to notice me."

"you never told me! i can't know everything, seungmin. you being too much of a coward isn't mine or felix's fault, so don't you dare blame us."

"all i've ever wanted was for you to look at me the way you look at felix! the way you smile, the way you laugh, i've tried so hard to make you happy but it's never been good enough."

"you do make me happy."

"apparently not happy enough. if i did you might have actually bothered to care about me. when was the last time you texted me first? when was the last time you invited me to hang out? i was never important to you changbin, admit it."

"that's not true!"

"how? how is that not true? you can't even answer my questions because you know i'm right." he was quiet. "i waited so long hoping i could find a time to tell you. but i guess a few week later with some random guy you just met is better than three years with me."

"we haven't known each other that long."

"we have. but i don't expect you to remember that. honestly, i'm done waiting. i give up, okay?"

"seungmin, you can't just let this break us apart."

"break us apart? what 'us' is there to break? there was never an us. it was just me trying so desperately to be with you. you never put in that effort. there could never be an us."

"are you really doing this?"

"yeah. i am." he didn't hesitate to respond.

"fine. bye, seungmin."

without another word, changbin left the apartment. seungmin stood for a long time, rooted to the spot. he didn't cry, yell, sob, anything. all of his tears had been exhausted and it was clear they were a waste anyway.

and in a box under his bed lay a bracelet, some photos, and a guitar pick, slowly collecting dust below the weight of a boy with a broken heart.

꧁999 words꧂

just because i don't write it often doesn't mean i'm not good at writing angst :)