Am I Crazy?

Can I be a better person?

Chan

Well, I didn't expect that to happen. Minho fell under Jisung's spell and now Hyunjin too. I guess shit is going to start looking different around here, and honestly, I didn't have it in me to start up a fight or bully the poor boy. Looking at Minho walk right up to him and pull him in for a kiss not giving a damn about what anyone else thinks is kind of relieving.

It was a long time without Jisung here in school and during that time I didn't even find anyone else to bully nor did I start any fights. Changbin was even wondering if I was sick or mentally ill as it wasn't like me. You could say Jisung was really the only one I tormented, no one else appealed to me.

It was like Jisung was a muse to me, during the time he was gone I really thought to myself and kept going over all the rumors about Jisung and his home life. It was unfortunate that he got abused from both sides home and school and in my opinion his home life got the better of him.

His father was a real piece a work from what I've heard and every time Jisung came to school seeing his bruises I know weren't from me was kind of sad.

And I just made it worse.

How I became this way is beyond me, being an only child and neglected by your parents does hurt sometimes but not as much as actually getting abused by them. Changbin only added to it, he came from a wealthy family who were a part of the mafia in our city. He was born and raised to become the next leader, but despite all the violence rubbing off on him he never wanted to be in that life.

But it followed him wherever he went.

How we became friends with Minho and Hyunjin I'll never really know, they were like the good parts of us. We've all known each other since childhood pretty much, Minho's father did business with and on occasion had interactions with Changbin's family. Hyunjin was more of a mystery, never really talked about his home life or his sister which we didn't know he had until recently.

We all knew who we were or thought so anyways.

I'm starting to rethink my life choices, especially after meeting a very cute fox looking boy. I never really wondered what my sexuality was, but I always thought I'd have a girlfriend and spend my money on her and make her happy.

A few weeks ago, I had encountered the fox looking boy at a cafe, he was a waiter there and he was very innocent and shy.

After the first time I went I tried to make it about every day, ordering my drink sitting down doing my homework all while admiring from a far. Even on the days he didn't work I was still there, but today was different.

I ordered my usual and sat down, took out my laptop while waiting for my drink to come. After a few minutes it had arrived and was very much informed that the boy I waited for was not working today, apparently the owner had caught me. "Not working today, but you still come anyways." The owner smiled to me. "Well sir coming here makes me feel at peace and it's something I need in my life. Getting to see him is just a bonus." I returned the smile. "Well, I know for a fact the young boy is single." The owner winked and walked away chuckling.

Was not expecting that, but it's good to know.

After an hour or so of finishing my drink and food I ordered a bit ago, I was about to get ready to leave when I hear the familiar laugh echoing through the cafe. I looked over at the door as it was closing and noticed him, but he was with some other boy. A blonde-haired boy with freckles scattered across his face, very cute in fact. They both were smiling and laughing as they made their way to the counter.

"Ah what brings you in on your day off?" I overheard the owner say. "Oh, my friend is back in town and just wanted to show him where I work and my favorite cafe." The cute fox replied with a smile.

I noticed the owner look over at me and just shook his head and smiled. "Well, the usual then?" The owner asked. "Yes, please and my friend will have a caramel macchiato with extra syrup." The boy replied. "Alright boys I'll have those right out. And Jeongin a certain someone is here as well."

I quickly looked away, making myself look like I had no idea he was in the cafe and started putting my things away.

So Jeongin is his name. Cute.