My life story

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I didn't heed their warnings: It's been engrain in me trust the doctors but they were yammering trying to take away something in me, something I hold dear and precious, My Faith.

Doctors told me- No! being extra religious, it's part of the disease. The Voices are deluaional. But i only hear The One.I think, Maybe?

But why in the Christian community they said He speaks. Does he really? Or are "THEY" right?

whos lying? who do I trust, who do i pick? which one will commend me the least?

no doubt i need help, but from whom? they both are contactricting each other. God is a Miracle-worker, he makes wonders, But Science has the facts, the proof, the hard evidence. You Can actually see the field of Earth, its tangliable, not like my god who's more of a whisper or ghost at this point maybe even a phantom. 

The Christian Commuity are all giving advice to me and how i should handle what was diagosed but they can't seem to agree on anything, unlike the Doctors, who all say the same thing. I need treament and medication for the rest of my life, but what do you do when you believe in lifetimes that trancends time? Will i need medcation for those timelines as well?

I thought I fostered good Karma So why am i being curesed? Is this A test Of God? Forever God? Not even Job Had to suffer Lifetimes. tHIS isn't what i meant what i Said i Wanted Special Treament.

My mistake, My Bad, My suffering. my problem. A solution... I can't come up with. stuck in a whrilpool. hidden and deadly. That's the outcome

however soft mumbles from the ...stage left? Or shall i say whispering... musing? But i can barely make them out. soft and steady, sure. but who are they? i'm ceratin i don't recongize them...wait, just a MOMENT! my peeps, the ones who know me in the womb before my mother ever did, an unbreakable bond coming to play. My Clan, commiunity, village whatever they call themselves now, but i know TRUE friendship.  

At frist I can't understand. too many different voices and jumbled but getting louder and louder, sounds like an evil spell that I was warned against to hear. If i listen i will be damn i just know it. But yet they sounds so ugrent, can't Ignore, Hope my god will forgive me like he always does, at least just this once i'll go agaisnt what i was taught, So i say. "God what are they saying?" child you know just listen with your heart. so I obey and sure enough the voices blend into ONE. "KAREN  you can pick BOTH" "if that WORKS for you!"

silly me how sin made me forget I hated chocies, always saw them as limiting, so whenever the opportunity arose and was vaild and MINE own and consensual no damanges to be done. i did whatever the HELL i want. God said i could so i do.

That when I REALize who i am again. I'm me.