My life story

Our mistake

So he touched me
Like you care

Freedom is what
you gave me

So freedom is what
I get

I am just doing me

But why does that pain my heart

You let me go
But you're still in my life.

So he touched me
Do you care?

I wonder what you
thought when I told you

You made no sudden
movements

Your face was blank
Emotionless

I wanted a reaction
An explosion

Something, anything
Not this silence
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
...
I let him touch me
but
Yes but...
I wanted you

I don't like this
What I am doing

But I don't know
how else to deal
With our situation

We each have our freedom
We each have each other
But

Yes but...

I am not with you
It's too complicated
With you but then why

When I'm with you
It seems so simple

At the same time.

Someone explain this to me.
What is this?
I have no clue.

I am just trying to live life but
It's hard

Because no one is you

You said I could do
What I want

That you won't get
jealous but...

What about me?
I know I shouldn't

care. And a part of me doesn't but.

What I want is
Us

To
Get
Her.
Yes what I want is us
Together
Forever

Not how we are
But how we were in the beginning

I want you and me
Like a team

But for the moment
We will just keep doing us instead

As solo players

Solo players who think
They know what
They're doing

Who are we kidding

Not us

What I am is just
A friend

With

Benefits.

Who

Wants more of you.

What am I to do

I hate this predicament
That we've place on
Ourselves

God damnit
What have I done

I let him touch me
Knowing it wasn't
You.

Being your friend
With benefits is
Hard.

But being without you
Is harder.

So I will keep this
Up, until one of us
Breaks

Knowing me I will
Be the first to fall

I pray to God
That you stay safe
From

Me
From
Us
From
Him

From her.
But at least thank God I still have you.

Because knowing me
I can't do this
Without you
Without us.

Who knows what the future holds
But for the moment

This is our lives
Our
Lives

As friends with
Benefits

Fuck my life
What did I do?