White & Gray

chapter 14 - on a break

Vince

My neck pain woke me up. I fell asleep at my desk while studying. Again. It's 04:00 am. I needed to study more.

There was no way that I could sleep when my mind was this full. My mother did it again. I did my background check but did not see Laura's connection to my mother. My brain is consumed by this idea.

I got everything under control! Everything! Laura and I met to discuss my plan. I said my peace to Sam so that Dia would not feel alone when I'm with Laura, but then my mother came along!

I lost control.

I started to talk to myself in the mirror, started drinking too much, and only fake smiles since I learned this. These 3 days were like hell.

I keep repeating myself, you made this, it was your idea to have Laura close. But now I have to keep her far from Diana. My brain is already fighting which makes me weaker, but when I remember Diana, this weakens my knees too.

The day they meet is the most critical. I don't know what to do if they don't get along. Dia is easy to get along with, but Laura.. is like .. me. She is very tough. She is completely different from Dia.

Dia is the only person I let see through me. Without her in my life, I feel like a bomb that could explode any minute.

I thought of her as I lay on the bed. I'm not sure if I should tell her. I don't know which way should be more peaceful for her.

I woke up at noon. It is late for me and she is not warning me or coming to check on me which means she is mad. She is right. Even though she had never heard of Laura, I asked her to be my best man. I say stupid things.

I walked to the kitchen. Everyone was there. The laughter that could be heard upstairs faded into silence when I walked into the kitchen. As usual. I look at the room for observation as usual.

Jason is looking at Maya in a way that I did not realize before. This makes me smile. Sam avoids eye contact with me and Jamie is the same as always. Dylan is trying to read everybody as I do.

"Where is Dia?" I asked.

"Still sleeping I guess," Jamie replied.

"Goooood Morniiiiiiiin-g," she said. Before she could say g, she was stunned for a second when she saw me here.

Everybody said good morning except Sam. This has something to do with her.

"Sam, will you pass the milk to me?" I asked.

That made Sam walk near her. She looks at Sam now. And there it is.

Blushing. Then she caught me looking at her.

The thing is, I cannot be mad at this anymore. How can I be? The last time I was mad, her eyes looked at me in a very different way, forcing me to stay away for 3 months.

This time, I want this to happen. If I need to get married, she should never question why. I needed this.

"I'm gonna have my breakfast in my room. See you later guys." she said and left the kitchen almost running.

I knocked on the door. "Come in," she said. And was surprised to see it was me but tried to hide it.

"What do I owe this pleasure?" she asked, hiding behind her sarcasm.

"You are blushing," I said. I was surprised as well since I wasn't planning on jumping directly to the topic.

"What? No, I'm not" She said after checking herself in the mirror. This made me smile.

"I don't mean now. When you see Sam, you are blushing, I mean you blushed. What happened there?" I said.

She jumped out of the bed saying "No no no no. Nothing happened. Please don't think like this. Nothing."

The fact that she jumped so fast made me mad. She was looking out for Sam. Trying to protect him. I hated that feeling of overprotection of her other than for myself.

"Calm down. I believe you. I'm not mad."

"But I don't believe you. Last time you thought-"

"Last time was different."

"Why? What was different?" She was mad.

"Last time I was not aware that, the control freak man inside me might be someone that you hate, disgusted, and eventually I might lose you. Now I am fully aware."

That was the first time I lied to her face. I really don't like the idea she does not love some part of me, but it was not the full reason. I mean, she could hate me and I can handle it. There is not even a parallel universe exists that she breathes but not near me.

"Aware," she said trying to copy my accent, and smiled.

"You improved it," I said even though she was not even close.

She took a step towards me, put her head on my chest, and hugged me.

"I can not hate any part of you." That was a huge relief. "Don't worry about that. I can be crazy mad maybe punch you at one point. And I'm impressed that you actually learned. Wait?! Did I just teach you a life lesson?"

"I guess you did. I will let you have it." I said when she started doing Chandler Bing dance. I knew what would make her stop.

"Ross and Rachel were on a break" I said.

"Oh really?" she pulled me to the bed and said, "Let's watch and see then."

And that is how we started watching Friendsfor the fourth time.