Jealousy, Jealousy || Jegulus & Rosekiller

29. Old books and rain

James

James sees Regulus turned in front of a desk and goes to hug him from behind, hiding his face in his hair.

He loves Regulus' scent. Old books and rain.

He was scared of thunderstorms and he fell in love with someone who smells of rain.

But in this rain there are no thunders and no lightings.

He's not scared of thunderstorms anymore, and he's not scared of Regulus anymore, but he was certainly scared of his feelings for him. He still is a little bit. They run too deep, they have been with him from too long. But Regulus reciprocates them, so there is nothing to be scared of.

Regulus smiles at him as he turns around and throws his arms around his neck. And kisses him.

His heart is beating so fast. He still hasn't got used to Regulus kissing him, he doesn't know if he ever will.

All the moments he is not spending kissing Regulus, he is afraid he dreamt it all. Up until he kisses him and has him in his arms again, he is afraid it wasn't real, just a projection of his hopes and most secret wishes. But then Regulus looks at him, touches him, kisses him and the butterflies in his stomach subside. He can settle and bask into the certainty that it's all true.

He sees that Regulus has carved a heart on a desk. "Oh, for me? That's so sweet", he teases.

Regulus takes a pillow and throws it at him. James laughs and retaliates hitting him with another one, and they start a pillow fight. They're laughing breathlessly when they fall on the bed.

"No, but really, if you did it for me, I love it", he says, "It's permanent, it will remain there indefinitely".

"I didn't do it for you".

"Well, I would have loved it".

They are lying down facing each other, he's looking into Regulus' eyes, he raises his hand and strokes Regulus' cheek.

"It wasn't my imagination then... The way you looked at me sometimes, how your gaze lingered, how your hand stayed on mine a little too long, the way you smiled at me".

Regulus shakes his head, his cheeks turning red.

"This. How you blushed", smiles James.

Regulus hides his face against the pillow.

"No, don't". He makes him turn his head and he starts tracing his jaw, then his lips, his nose, with his fingers. Regulus' beauty is out of this world. James holds Regulus by the nape of his neck and kisses his red cheeks, those high cheekbones, his eyelids, first one and then the other, his forehead, and finally his lips. All sharp edges but when James kisses them all he feels is softness.

"And when we danced at the party, and you held my hand-", continues James.

"I wanted to hold it", says Regulus.

"You weren't drunk".

"I wasn't. I didn't do it by mistake, I couldn't help myself", he smiles, "And I really wanted to be there and spend time with you and laughing and dancing together".

"Why did you say you were?"

"I really didn't want anything to do with you anymore. I felt like you didn't care and like I couldn't trust you".

"So you cared".

"I did", smiles Regulus.

"And you were upset when I wasn't talking to you not only for the rudeness or because you considered me your friend, but because you liked me", he says in surprise, realizing it in that moment.