I'm So Sorry

Chapter One

Shannon

"This is just a game, Ben," Sandra states.

"This isn't a game, this is our lives," Jessie replies.

"I don't care what you think it is or not, I want to hear him say it," Mason states.

"You're delusional, you're just outright insane. Leave me the fuck alone," Ben tells him, basically shooing him off with one hand.

"Guys stop," Makayla whines. I'm surprised she's even speaking up. Lately all it's been is snarky comments at Mason or to ask Olivia about a routine for the team.

"You don't even understand the ramifications of your actions, you're a fucking idiot." Ben leans back in his chair and folds his arms, starring at the fire that's still going.

"You want to say that to my face, Ben? Then do it. Tell me what you think I am, tell me what you think I don't know!" Mason screams, standing up from his spot around the bonfire. His voice is rising, rising higher than the flames lit in the bonfire. His face is turning red and Sandra is leaning away from him now. She seems terrified; no, mortified at what is before her.

"What do you want me to say to you, Mason? Want me to get on my knees and beg for your forgiveness? Because I'm not going to do that. You walk around here thinking you're better than everyone else, shoving your girlfriend in our faces, demanding we act one way when no one wants to follow, instead of another. You're not the boss of any of us, Mason! None of us are going to listen to what you have to say! Hell, you can't even get your own father to listen to you!" Ben is in as much of a rage as Mason. Jessie is cowering in the corner of the circle, her legs up on her chair now, covering the majority of her body. She stares up at her step-brother from what I can see in complete terror.

Jackson stands now. "Jesus Christ stop it! It's like a contest and guess what? No one fucking cares, okay? Because all it is, all any of us ever do is argue, is fight, is scream at one another! People here are trying to open up to one another and try to trust the group, and all of you, l mean holy fucking shit, you all just continue to go at it!"

"Fuck off, faggot, this doesn't concern you!" Ben spits.

I actually stand up now. "Whoa! NOT called for, Ben!"

"Oh of course you have to defend him!" Olivia rolls her eyes, annoyed as usual. Everything I do, every breath I seem to take, just pisses her off.

"I'm just sticking up for Jackson, Olivia, calm your fucking tits."

"You can't tell me what to do. You're not the captain of the team, hell, you quit the team! Don't try to act like you're so innocent, Shannon."

"You're the most twisted person I've ever met in my life, Olivia."

"Fuck off the both of you, this doesn't concern any of you. It's between me and this prick!" Ben points his finger at Mason. Mason may be almost a foot taller than Ben, but Ben's on the wrestling team and could break Mason in half if he wanted to.

"You're such an ass, you know that, right?" Mason tells him, chuckling. "You think you're so tough. You think you're so perfect."

Ben shoves Mason so hard he nearly falls back into his usual seat on the bench next to Sandra, but Mason manages to stay standing and attacks Ben right back, shoving him aside and they move next to the fire, shoving and pushing like five year old's do when they don't get their way over a toy at day care. They look foolish, Mason pushing Ben aside as Ben basically knocks away his pathetic hits.

Even though the fight is petty and absolutely pathetic, I still get up to intervene. "Alright, alright, cut it out you idiots!"

This only seems to encourage them as I yell, so I finally run in, trying to stop the fighting, but the boys just push me around, continuing to fight like children. Ben even jumps up momentarily when he manages to push me aside, but Mason does the same and then goes back to attacking Ben. I try to rush back in, but it's like I can't even stop them for half a second.