I'm So Sorry

Chapter Twenty-Two

Shannon

"Guys," I say finally after about a minute has passed for Mason's dare. "Untie him. Now."

"Why?" Jackson asks, though his voice sounds very sure he knows the answer. "It's his dare. Staying tied up for five minutes."

I turn to my brother, hoping he'll listen to me. "Randy untie him right now," I demand. "Don't you see what's happening?"

"Shannon just let the dare happen," Olivia says. She doesn't sound rude like usual, more like she's not sure if she wants this either.

"We always say that we don't have to do dares, why did you make him do this dare?" I question.

"Because he wanted to!" Jackson says, defending himself, turning to me now. "Shannon come on, you know this isn't my fault. You said it yourself, you can back out of a dare."

"I don't care!" I shout at him. "You guys can't just do this to one another, God what are you, psychotic?"

No one answers me.

We just watch Mason go further and further away from us.

I see him. I see Mason going crazy, his face growing white and sweat drenching his forehead. He's breathing so fucking loud, he's growing in his volume.

I can't watch him suffer, I can't watch him going so fucking crazy oh my God. I can't believe I'm letting this happen. I have to stop this. I have to take him out of those ropes.

"Can't you see he hates it? Can't you see it's driving him crazy?!" Makayla finally screams before I can. "Just untie him! Just let him go!!"

Makayla

"Mason, breathe! Breathe!"

I start tugging at the ropes and trying to get him out of the ropes. "Mason just breathe! Listen to my voice and breathe!" I look back at the rest of the group, desperate for any sort of help, something in the slightest. "Help me!"

Mason

"Mason you listen to me right now!" My father shouts from his seat at the kitchen table. "I will not tolerate this!"

"I won't listen to you!" I shout right back.

"Stop this madness, please!" Mom is crying at the kitchen counter, ingredients from dinner strewn about the counter from the rampage that finally ended a minute earlier. "It's not worth it! Leave him alone, Kenneth!"

"LISTEN TO ME!" Dad screams, jumping up so fast that he's quick to grab my neck and lift me into the air. I try to pull him away from me, not able to do anything but struggle. "YOU WILL OBEY WHAT I SAY! YOU WILL FOLLOW ORDERS IN THIS HOUSE! YOU ARE NOTHING WITHOUT US! YOU WILL NEVER BE ANYTHING! YOU ARE WORTHLESS! YOU ARE PATHETIC!"

"Kenneth! You're hurting him!" Mom shouts at him. "Stop it, please!"

"HE'S GOING TO UNDERSTAND! HE'S GOING TO LISTEN! LISTEN TO ME, GODDAMMIT MASON KASE! I WILL CHOKE THE PATHETIC FUCKING LIFE OUT OF YOU IF IT MEANS YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE IN YOUR WASTE OF A LIFE!"

Everything is going fuzzy in my head; Mom's tears the only thing I seem to notice. But I barely have time to register that I'm losing oxygen before he throws me into the wall and I fall on my back, unable to move, unable to really breathe even. Dad stands over me, breathing heavily, fists clenched. His eyes narrow at me and his back is arched. Anger is fully controlling him now, and I see him swing.

I flinch just in time for him to connect his fist to his target: the wall right above my head.

"Next time it's your goddamn skull, you piece of shit. Goat me one more time, Mason. Do it."

I say nothing.

"Kenneth! Leave him alone, for God's sake! That's your fucking son!"

I blink.

And then next thing I know, I'm on the ground in Shannon's backyard, barely breathing, the ropes still attached to the bench and me. Makayla's above me, saying something I can't make out.

Did...when did that happen? What the hell was that? Did I...did I repress a memory of Dad nearly...killing me?

How old was I when that happened? When did this happen?

And why – for the life of me – did I repress this??

Makayla

"Mason! Come on, Mason! Answer me! Mason please!" I'm frantic now. He's not responding, but he's breathing and he's staring up at the sky, the sun barely noticeable anymore tonight. There's a look on his face I can't pinpoint, unable to tell what it is he's thinking about. But all I can think is that this is the one thing I missed. He's got to have something he's been hiding that's making him act like this. I don't know what specifically, but it's going to have something to do with the fact that he's had marks on himself before.

No amount of depression, hurt or anger I've had for Mason matters in this single moment. Mason is all that matters.

"Mason!" I'm shouting. I look back up at the rest of the group. "Help me!!!" I cry out. "Help me!" Tears are staining my face. How can all of them, his best friends since we were kids, his friends growing up, the only people we ever looked out for, be ignoring all of this happening to him?

Sandra

Something about the way Makayla is crying causes something in me to snap back to life. I've been petrified, I couldn't move, I couldn't even think about what was happening for the last three minutes. All of a sudden, Mason was on the ground and I snapped back to life when Makayla cried out for help.

I spring into action and kneel down to Mason's side and I touch his face with my hands, no reaction coming from Mason at all. He's sweaty and his breathing is coming in weird spurts.

"Baby, can you hear me?" I ask him, trying to get his attention. He'll hear my voice, he'll snap out of it. He'll come to because he loves me. I know it.

Randy

Makayla crying over Mason's body...her pleading and her stance...Melody's hand's covered by my own as she was lying on the sidewalk...blood everywhere...a laughter erupting from behind me and my voice growing hoarse from the shouting...

Get it together Randy. Don't remember it. Don't think about it. Don't trigger it. Don't trigger it.

Makayla

"It's not working!" I shout at Sandra after another minute of her thinking she knows what to do. "You're all useless!"

"I'm trying!!" Sandra shouts back.

"'I'm trying'," I mimic angrily. "Bullshit. You're a pathetic excuse for a girlfriend; you can't even help him when he needs you the most! You don't deserve him you fucking airhead."

Sandra gasps in a disgusting, preppy girl way. "We love each other!"

"Not enough obviously!" I scream at him. I push her out of the way and I take Mason's face in my own hands. "Mason, please."

Mason

I can hear her calling my name over the roar of the silence. I can hear her breaking down the walls to save me. I can hear her.

And I love her.