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26 year old, Connor Deluca, is a professional Hockey player in the NHL; who just moved into the expensive Citrus Grove Community.
23 year old, Serena Jade, is the recluse famous author known to the public only under her pen name Skylyn Voss, and...
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Serena was left in her room feeling light and refreshed. Her skin was buzzing and her head was airy, filled with Connor. She smiled, the memory of his touch still fresh on her skin as she nearly floated along her room. She cleaned up and reorganized her makeup vanity, fluffed her hair, and got dressed.
It was during her clothing decision that the after-sex glow started to wear off and real panic take its place. She was obsessing over what to wear, hype aware that Connor's mother would be meeting her. Everything mattered. A dress was too much for the rink, short sleeves seemed too casual, and that long sleeve had too many words on it.
Nothing was good enough. She was standing in a pile of her clothes nearly shaking from the stress building in her limbs and pinching her throat. After another twenty minutes, she finally settled on a simple blouse, it had delicate designs on it, and the neutral browns and oranges were pretty together. To go with it she put on a pair of her good jeans, meaning it wasn't covered in grass stains.
Even with her outfit situation figured out she couldn't shake the nerves bubbling up. Her hands were shaky and she kept replaying horrible scenarios in her head. She knew it was unlikely, but she kept imagining them hating her, saying awful things about her, she felt exposed like they might know all the awful things done to her. She felt naked, too naked, the simple idea of meeting his family felt like too much. The family of the man she realized yesterday, she loved.
The more she let her brain spiral down unlikely pathways, the more out of breath she felt. Moving, even another inch, to the door felt completely impossible. She knew once she stepped out the door, she'd get in her car, and once there she is on her way to meet them. No, no it was too much. She couldn't.
Her legs felt wobbly where she stood, staring in front of her with wide eyes and a racing heart. She was scared.
She felt tears well in her eyes, frustrated by herself. Why did she do this? Why couldn't she be better? Serena felt tears roll down her face, her situation felt like it was expanding in her brain. Bigger than just meeting his family, she was getting close to him, so close. She hadn't felt this way since Peter, and the scar on her heart felt like it was being scratched at relentlessly. Reminding her of everything love landed her.
The panic swirling in her body was choking her, holding her hostage there in front of her door. Loving, loving was so chemical.
Serena managed to lift her hands to wipe the soft tears caressing her cheek. She stared at the door and felt a lot similar to when she was watching Connor yesterday at the fundraiser.
The overwhelming disappointment; was crushing her heart beneath her lungs. She was letting him win. These breakdowns, the anxiety, the fear, the way she felt about herself, all of it caused by him and now she was letting it still take from her.
She couldn't tell at the moment if it was spite or bravery, but she dried her eyes, popped her medication, and walked out the door. Still terrified, but she was leaving, and she was proud as hell that she was leaving.
