i love you, but.. // lierra

13

You Are In Love - Taylor Swift (Taylor's Version)

It's almost the end of January which means Calum's birthday is coming up. Sitting in Sierra's apartment, Luke and her are having trouble deciding what kind of party they need to throw for him. They both want him to have fun and feel amazing, but sometimes they have different definitions of fun.

"We need to throw Calum the best birthday party ever." Luke says for the hundredth time.

"It can be a quiet party, too." Sierra argues. "We'll call Ashton and Feye, and just have a cosy dinner together."

"A cosy dinner on his birthday? He's not turning 60, Sierra." Luke sighs. He thinks that Calum needs to loosen up and just forget everything for one day.

"You know what?" Luke looks up at her as she stands up, because he feels like she's fed up with him. "Why are we doing this?" she starts pacing around the room. "He has a girlfriend. She can throw him a party."

"She probably knows him better." Luke shrugs.

"That's not what I meant." she shakes her head. "We're his best friends, no one knows him better than us."

"You think? Cause Feye knew about his scars before he told us."

"What?" she turns to him immediately. "She knew first?" Sierra isn't possessive of her friends, but Feye is still quite new to their friend group, and it feels a bit weird that she somehow knows Calum better than them.

"I mean, we can't blame him. They've been sleeping together for like a year now. It's not like he could hide it from her." Luke repeats Calum's words.

"We're throwing him the best party ever."

"Okay? So we're doing it my way?" he asks. Even if it's his way, she has to approve it first.

"No." he frowns at her. "A compromise. We'll invite Ash and Feye for a small party, like I wanted, but get wasted, like you wanted. Deal?" he nods, and they get to organising stuff, even though it's not that difficult when the party is this small.

They spend hours together - organising Calum's birthday, but also getting distracted, and watching movies and cooking together. They try to be as active as possible just so they don't think about their relationship. They can't even sit together normally, because both of them feel like they want to kiss the other, but at the same time they don't want to do anything because it's not official. They don't want to cross too many lines and lose their friendship completely.

Sierra feels more tension, sexual tension in particular, while Luke feels fondness towards her. He likes falling in love with her, it feels new but also so familiar, as if it's all he knows. He likes feeling attached to her, he likes looking at her and seeing something in her that he's never seen before. It gives him a feeling that it's safe to be in love with her, but also new and exciting enough for his brain.

He likes all the small touches they share that now feel intimate. He likes looking at her and wondering if he should kiss her. He likes listening to her voice, knowing that it's that soft only for him - well, and maybe for Petunia, too. He likes watching her blush when he says something even remotely flirty. He likes coming home and still thinking of her. He likes her.

The day of Calum's birthday party comes and they all gather in his apartment. Firstly, they all give him the presents, they all take pictures, because everyone is well aware that they're getting drunk tonight. Before they sit down at the table to eat, Luke and Sierra - as the organisers - go to the kitchen to get all the food ready. Luke goes for the drinks in the fridge, and holds Sierra's waist while walking past her as she's a bit in his way.