i love you, but.. // lierra

20

Renegade - Big Red Machine feat. Taylor Swift

Going to bed in Luke's t-shirt was the best decision for Sierra - she wakes up, smelling like him and it puts her at ease at once. The memories of yesterday fill her mind in the next few seconds, and she feels anything but easy. She also feels her throat being dry, and then Calum coughs next to her. She turns to him and they exchange looks of understanding that they're both catching a cold. The freezing sea water, the rain, the stress and their lack of care for themselves affected them quite badly yesterday. They both settle on not telling Luke what caused their bad wellbeing.

When they tell Cory that Luke got sick, they leave out the drowning part, and overall anything that can hurt his little brain. The boy obviously gets worried, but after they let him know that Luke will be home in a few hours, he goes back to his room to get his favourite toys to put them on Luke's bed. Most of these toys were given to him by Luke, so they have a sentimental value to both of them.

On the way to the hospital, they visit a couple of pharmacies to get the needed medicine for the cold so it goes as unnoticed as possible. Luke doesn't need to know they got sick because of him. He already feels guilty for the mental damage he's caused, so knowing that his incident affected them physically as well would make him isolate himself and tell them a bunch of crap of how they should leave him.

Today Luke is glad to see them, he's glad to go home. Mostly because of how unbearable the night was. It was quiet, it was dark - these are not the conditions in which he can fall asleep. He hears voices and noises in the silence, he sees silhouettes in the dark, it's all very unsettling and creates a tense atmosphere.

His parents arrive at the hospital before Calum and Sierra do, so George obviously gives him a talk about how stupid he acted and how he spent a lot of money on the hospital bill. Luke just tries to dissociate from the conversation as much as possible. He doesn't need this right now. All he needs is to get to his room where he has his fairy lights, where he can hear Petunia snore - quite loudly, by the way - and peacefully fall asleep.

He, of course, needs to fall asleep in Sierra's arms, but he knows he can't ask for that. Luke really hopes she needs some time away from him, but at the same time, deep inside, he wants to believe her words and that she will stay with him, no matter what. He can't ask for it, but he hopes she offers it. Maybe it's selfish of him, but at least he's honest with himself about his desires.

As they're sitting in the backseat of Calum's car on the way home, Sierra keeps brushing Luke's hair as always while he's just looking up at her tiredly. He wants to tell her that he loves her, but he feels like he should apologise instead. Maybe thank her for sticking around. But not profess his love to her. Somehow it feels completely unnecessary at the moment.

Cory meets Luke with a tight hug, his favourite chocolate and shows him to his room to see the toys that are very neatly placed on Luke's bed. He tried to put them by size, then by colour, but he ended up mixing them all in the end. He knows Luke doesn't really care if it looks nice - he appreciates the gesture, it's all that matters to him.

They have breakfast all together, acting like everything is alright. Mainly for Cory, because the boy wouldn't understand why a simple food-poisoning would change the relationship within their friend group. Calum and Sierra drink lots of tea to cover their sore throats, and it even works.

Luke finds his old phone in his drawer and puts in the new Sim card Calum bought for him. All the data from his phone is gone which obviously makes him really upset. He used to have so many meaningful to him photos on his phone, his texts with Sierra and games for Cory. Everything is gone, but maybe it's a sign to start clean.

Sierra knocks on his door several minutes after he comes out of the shower. He's too scared to ask her to stay, so he's glad she's even here. They lay in bed, touching each other very carefully as if they could hurt the other. They mostly hold hands although both of them know what they need is a warm embrace. Just breathing each other in, listening to their hearts beat in sync - or not so in sync. Sierra tells him quietly how she and Calum spent the night here, but then the room falls into silence as they're just looking in each other's eyes, too scared to move or say something wrong.