Poetry (2015-2017)

Outsider.

I can't escape the judgemental glances.

I look at them and laugh because they are all the same.

I didn't ask to be this way, this wasn't a self prophecy.

I often wished it was different just like me.

I feel like a stranger in my own home.

Nothing ever feels like home to me.

Did I really come from somewhere else.

Am I just a old soul living in the future.

Mental health is deteriorating faster.

I don't know how much longer I can survive.

I thought life was a precious gift.

Not a helpless, never ending survival.

The only one who understands is no longer alive.

I often wonder what would happen if they were beside me.

I'd have a friend, a confidant of trust.

Someone who understood my fucked up shit.

I want to leave, this overwhelming isolation is deafening.

I've got nowhere else to go except the spirit world.

The only thing stopping me is the people who are killing me.

How ironic.

I'm a weird outsider who has no one on their side.

Who knew I was so crazy, I certainly didn't.

Oh well, whatever, never mind.

All Apologies, etc, etc.

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So, I'm not really in the mood for anything right now and nothing is making me happy which is alarming in it's own fucking way. I didn't know how to finish this poem so I just added Nirvana lyrics, oops. Enjoy (I think).

Sincerely Yours,

Liliana.