Concealed

#0011

"What are you talking about?" Leviathan asked as they made it back to Y/n's apartment. He stared at the ground, wondering if she'd found out something about him that he'd never told her. He was afraid of the things Y/n would think of him if she knew.

Y/n sat on the bed again, setting her laptop on her desk on top of her notebook. She patted the side next to her on the bed and smiled at Leviathan. Leviathan hesitantly sat next to her. Y/n sighed. "I don't need anyone." She started. Leviathan turned to her quickly wondering what she was getting at. "I can do it alone. Even if I had someone they'd do it all wrong anyways. Who would look at me and think I'm worth even a second of their time?" "What are you talking about?!" Leviathan shouted frustrated.

"Does that sound familiar?" Y/n asked looking up at Leviathan who had stood up abruptly. Leviathan thought for a second.

I don't need anyone, I can do it alone. Those words are far too familiar. For a long time I always thought it'd be better if I was all alone. That way, I wouldn't have to worry about anyone else. But that just isn't what happened.

Leviathan sighed and sat back on the bed. "What exactly are you getting at?" Leviathan questioned playing with his hands. "I can't do it alone. No matter how hard I try. I need someone." Y/n replied. Leviathan felt his heart drop. Not having anyone felt painful. He knew this.

"You can talk to me Levi. I know it's not that easy to be alone all the time. Especially not with the way you think." Y/n told Leviathan putting a warm blue blanket over his head. Leviathan lifted the blanket and looked at Y/n who was waiting patiently. He looked at the ground and adjusted the blanket around himself. Feeling the comfortable warmth he relaxed. "No it's not easy." Leviathan started. Y/n listened intently.

"It actually really sucks." Leviathan scoffed. "I've never had friends to begin with. I thought I could get used to it. I thought I did. But the more I did things alone, and the more things I learned how to do by myself, it didn't matter how much I knew. It was always empty. I always thought about sharing it with others. But with what others? My brothers? They don't even listen to me. They just ignore me and think I'm a nuisance." Leviathan had an angry look on his face. He held the blanket tightly. "No one can go and do anything alone. It doesn't matter who or what you are. I know that. It's just hard to keep anyone around. The loneliness I've felt is suffocating. It really hurts." He cried quietly as his lips began to tremble.

"Maybe if I were more like Mammon or Asmo it'd be easier for me to talk to others. I always think I'm just a useless nobody with no purpose. That's what I am. Maybe if I were better looking or had interesting things to talk about, people would come up to me instead. But they just don't. Because I'm not interesting. I'm just a stupid otaku with no friends." Leviathan swallowed the lump in his throat, but his tears didn't stop. He began crying more and more everytime he opened his mouth. "Being alone is so frightening. I have pets. But it's not like they understand." The demon wiped his tears with his arm as his chest tightened.

"I can't change. I've always been like this. It feels like everyone is watching. I hate the feeling of being alone in my room as I drown in my own loneliness, sometimes I cry or think so much I can't breathe." Leviathan took a quick pause to take a breath. Snot was beginning to form in his nose and his tears drowned his eyes causing him to constantly wipe at his face. Y/n stood up and embraced him, setting his head on her shoulder she spoke in a quiet voice, "You don't have to wipe them away." Leviathan let his arms drop and let his weight be carried onto Y/n. Leviathan clenched his teeth tightly barely being able to breathe. His feelings have been bottled up for so long finally letting them out took a toll on him.

Leviathan slowly reached for Y/n. "I just want someone to love me for who I am." Y/n let her own tears fall. "I love you for who you are Leviathan!" Y/n slightly shouted letting go of the demon and holding his hands. Her tears wouldn't stop coming out either. "I know how suffocating it is to have no one there, to feel like it's all your fault to begin with. I know it feels like there's a rope around your neck that everyone or yourself keeps pulling..." Leviathan looked at Y/n in the eyes. Her face so full of pure emotion letting him know she understood and was being genuine. Tears trickled down Y/n's jawline to her chin. The tears causing splotches on her hands which were holding Leviathan's. "You helped me find a reason to keep moving, even if I haven't fully grasped what it is that I want, I know I want you to continue with me. You may not have found the me I was back then, I'll never be her again, but you made me be able to find the feelings in me I've longed for, for so long. I wanted someone to save me. You saved me Levi!" Y/n cried looking down at the floor, her chest pounded faster every second.

Leviathan closed his eyes tightly.

The feeling is too intense, I want to say something but my feelings won't let me speak.

Y/n took deep breaths and let go of Leviathan's hands gently setting them on his lap. Leviathan suddenly got up and hugged Y/n for himself for the first time ever. Y/n almost immediately hugged him back, her hands tightly holding onto him. "I'm going to save you too, Leviathan." She smiled into the hug as her eyes welled up again. "Thank you." Leviathan smiled with puffy eyes.

Lucifer stepped to the side of the window and sighed with his arms crossed. "Leviathan seems relieved. I'll allow it for now." He spoke walking down the stairs. He glanced towards some bushes. Two demons were hiding with cameras. "If you think you can hide in those bushes you are wrong." Lucifer called out with an angry look. Zimri stepped out of the bushes dusting off her dress. Lucifer's eyes widened.

"Zimri?"