Newsies oneshots

Blush // Asking for help part 1

(TW: Abelism and abuse, and extreme codependency and hyper independence so I am going to make a part 2 but this is a little warning:
The way Blink is acting in the chapter is NOT healthy and is actually a real life mental illness so TW for that. I haven't written something so harsh in a while so it's probably really bad)

Blink joined the strike. Of course, it was his choice, but he still felt like he was pressured to. He didn't believe the strike was a good idea at all, but he felt like he needed to trust the newsies, rather than Pulitzer. He swallowed his feelings and followed his friends into the strike. Blink was an orphan and became a newsie at a very young age, his parents didn't want him because they didn't want to have to deal with his monocular vision, even though he was such a sweet little kid who loved stuffed animals and bedtime stories. They kicked him out at five because he accidentally broke a glass his depth perception was so limited he accidentally dropped it when trying to put it on the counter. His parents were so mad they yelled at him while poor Blink cried and tried to clean it up, but they had enough and told him to take his 'burden' elsewhere. He was tiny and scared, but a very smart kid and managed to find his way to the church so he had somewhere warm to sleep, days later an older newsie who has now left found him and was like, "Tiny kid with a lovable face and an eye patch??... gold mine." And pretty much adopted him. Years later and now Blink is independent and still so smart, just without the eyepatch. This makes him kind of the opposite of Mush, who mostly follows the crowd and isn't stupid but he sometimes misses out on important or obvious detail. But, God, did Blink love Mush, his charm, his cute face and pretty blue eyes, but especially his friendliness and smile. Mush is his first love but Mush has dated and loved a couple of other people beforehand, and Blink prays that Mush has as strong feelings for him as Blink feels for Mush. And Blink knows it is not healthy to compare himself to exes but he can't help it, he's always thinking to himself:
"She has blonde hair... I know Mush prefers blonde hair."
"He likes girls more, most of his exes are girls."
"And the guys he was with are way more attractive than me that's for sure."
"They all seem like so much fun compared to me, I'm such a dork."
But he never says those things to Mush's face, partly to not upset him, but also because deep down Blink is scared Mush might agree with him and break up with him.

Blink was counting his savings, something he learnt early on about being homeless is that you can't save up too much money because you need to eat. But he had a bit left before the end of the strike, but it was a small amount. He was already cutting down on food but he sighed and knew he had to cut down even more. "I could eat once every 3 days..." He thought to himself, already feeling himself panic a little, "That could last me another week."  He sighed and put his money in his bag and lay down on his back, facing the top bunk above him. He wrapped his arms around his belly, he already felt the effects of an empty stomach. He was terrified of the day he was going to run out of money completely. It's not like he could betray everyone else a second time, but he didn't want to starve either. He also didn't want to cry or ask for help, especially not Mush's help, which would make him such a burden and it's embarrassing. Mush was doing pretty well, he had enough money saved up to last him the strike and was seeing the positive side of things, he was helping out his friends and he was doing something no one else had the guts to do. He was petrified at first, if he was honest, he was mostly scared of the goons and getting hurt, even worse, his friends getting hurt, and even worse than that, Blink getting hurt, but he trusted Jack and Davey.

Days later, Blink was hungry and felt so weak, he needed to eat, his stomach kept growling and the hunger pains became unbearable so he took the last of his money from his bag to see if he had enough to buy himself something to eat. But when he took out the very few coins that were left, it was clear that the pennies that were left weren't enough for him to buy anything. He felt his eyes prickle with tears as he realised what that meant, and he put the coins back in his bag. He then curled up on Mush's bed, and held his arms tightly around his stomach, hoping the hunger would pass, and trying desperately not to cry, but he was so scared. That's when he heard Mush and some others walk in, Mush went directly to his bed, and when he saw Blink laying all curled up, he got worried, "Hey, Blink, are you OK?"
Blink sighed and sat up, "Yeh, I'm fine..." He lied. Mush knew that wasn't the case, but he didn't want to push it, "We were going to Jacobis to get something to eat, you wanna come?"
Blink's heart dropped and he shook his head, "Oh no, I already ate." He smiled, lying again.
Mush was sceptical, "Are you sure?  I haven't seen you eat in days."
Blink just looked down in response, "I have..."
Mush then may have realised what was going on, "Do you have money to eat?"
Blink looked up quickly, and panickingly said, "Yeh, of course."
"It's ok if you don't, I'll buy you something, baby."
"No-" Blink almost started crying because he felt so pathetic at that moment, "I don't need your help, I'm fine, I'm just tired, please leave me alone, Mush."
Mush was shocked but just nodded, "Ok, I love you." He said before standing up.
"I love you too," Blink mumbled before laying back down and Mush leaving. Blink felt bad lying to Mush, especially when he was trying to help. And he knew that it would have been great if he accepted Mush's offer but he knew he couldn't, if felt wrong taking his money, even if he offered.

Days go by, and Blink has gone a week eating barely anything, and he was going weaker by the day. He was practically starving and he was so close to going back to being a scab. He even pickpocketed a few people on the street, which isn't his thing, he's kind-hearted and even though the people he stole from seemed like they didn't need that money, it still felt wrong. But most just carried around pennies to pay for newspapers and shoe shining services and such so Blink still didn't have enough to eat. And he started avoiding Mush because it became more clear something was wrong, he was dizzy, always tired and his stomach never stopped growling. He felt like he was on the verge of fainting all the time, he once dropped to the ground from exhaustion. Mush instantly ran to him, but Blink just dismissed him, "I'm fine, really-"
"You're not fine, Blink, what's wrong? Are you feeling OK?"
Blink had tears pooling in his eyes, "I'm fine, I'm just a little tired." His stomach growled and he instantly wrapped his arms around his stomach tightly, waiting for the pain to go away, and he finally broke down in tears. Mush sat beside him and rubbed comforting circles on his back, "Aw, Blink..." his eyes were filled with sympathy, "How long has it been since you've eaten?"
Blink sadly whispered, "Nearly a week, I can't take it anymore..."
Mush's heart dropped when he said a week, "You poor thing, let's go to Jacobis, I'll get you anything you want, on me."
Blink refused, "No- I'm already a burden on everyone else, I'm not going to be a burden to you too." He sobbed.
"You're not a burden, Blink, you're hurting, and I don't mind sharing my money with you until the strike is over." He gave Blink the biggest hug. Blink shook his head, "I can't ask you to do that, and I won't be able to repay you-"
"I don't want you to repay me, I just want one favour in return."
"What?" Blink sniffled, still not willing to accept.
"You don't make yourself go struggle through something like this alone ever again. You're my boyfriend, and I want to help you, and it breaks my heart that you're in so much pain."
Blink sniffled and held Mush closer, "I can't..."
"Blink-" Mush sighed, insisting.
"I'm sorry, I'll feel too bad taking your money, and don't worry, I'll be fine, I'll be back on my feet soon enough."
Mush felt guilty, but it was clear Blink was not budging on his answer, "Ok, but if I see you collapse like that again, I am not taking no for an answer, ok?"
"Ok..." Blink whispered, sadly.
Mush didn't know what to do, Blink has always seemed so confident and has never relied on others, he's always been independent, and now he's struggling but doesn't know how to ask for help. And not only that, he was making himself sick and was in actual physical pain, but still, all he could think to himself is that he's a burden if he asks for help.