𝐑𝐞𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐲 ➃ - The Safe Haven, Newt

Chapter 28 - "Disorder"

Nervously I sat down for dinner, hoping Thomas wouldn't say a word about what happened. If Logan and Newt found out, their reaction wouldn't be the greatest.

"What have you been doing today, Nora?" Minho asked after he talked to the others. All the eyes turned to me.

"Uh- I was with Thomas." I stammered nervously.

"Doing what exactly?" Minho grinned, though I didn't find it funny at all.

"He was gardening and I watched." I simply replied, hoping no one noticed me biting my lip or tapping my foot repeatedly.

I felt Thomas glance at me, so I looked up and met his eyes. I shook my head 'no' and kept eating. Thomas sighed lightly, which immediately drew Logan's attention. Of course the boy was watching every step me or Thomas made, looking for whatever happened. He was already suspicious of my behavior.

"What did y'all talk about during the work? Anything interesting?" Logan blurted out.

My face turned into a deep red. "No- uhm- nothing interesting. Just about fertilizer and mint, you know?" I mumbled.

"What is going on?" Logan whispered.

"Nothing." I snapped, already exhausted from the day.

~

"Nora." Thomas pulled me with him after dinner into a small alley. "Something is going on."

I raised my eyebrows and waited for him to add anything. It didn't make me feel very comfortable to be this close to Thomas. He literally pushed me against the wall and watched me closely.

"You're acting strange after what happened in the woods." Thomas sighed and rubbed his eye. "I know what's happening. I had it too."

"Have what too exactly?" I snapped. I guess the lack of sleep made me moody too.

"Nightmares, flashbacks, anything like that." Thomas paused. "You've had it since the Glade, haven't you?"

"I don't know what you're trying to say, Thomas." I lied.

"I went to the doctor because I had it too. It might sound weird, but it's a disorder, Nora. I think you might have it too. The doctors can help you get rid of it, Nora. They did it to me." Thomas explained.

My breathing hitched again. "I don't have a disorder."

"But you do have survivor's guilt, don't you?" Thomas looked me in the eyes.

"That has nothing to do with this, Thomas," I replied. "Now stop talking about it."

"The disorder is when you experienced something traumatic, Nor. It causes nightmares, hallucinations, things like that." Thomas kept going.

"You sound like a shucking doctor, Thomas. Just stop about it and act like it never happened!" I frustratedly said, tears forming in my eyes. "Stop talking about that stupid disorder of yours, because I don't have it, okay?"

With that, I rushed away, leaving Thomas behind.

~

When I opened the door to our hut, I ran right into Newt's arms.

"Woah, are you okay?" He asked worriedly.

"What? Oh, yeah. I'm fine." I quickly said, rubbing the tears out of my eyes. "I'm going to bed." I lied and got ready.

Newt agreed and said he would go to sleep too. I lay down with my back facing Newt and my head toward the wall. "What's wrong, love?" Newt asked once he lay down too.

"Nothing." I simply replied, keeping my eyes wide open. Newt moved closer to me and wrapped his arms around me, causing me to tense up a bit. After about half an hour, I realized it was going to be the fifth night of not sleeping. Amazing.

Newt had already fallen asleep. Slowly my eyes started to close too, but I tried so hard to keep them open. I couldn't take it to see the Crank again.

~

I shot straight up in our bed, panting heavily. My eyes closed since I was so tired and almost I fell asleep, but then I saw the Crank again.

"You okay?" Newt suddenly asked. It surprised me he was even awake.

"Yeah. Just a nightmare." I lied as I lay down again. Newt wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer to him. For a moment I felt safe, just a few seconds.

~

More exhausted than ever, I got out of bed. Five nights of no sleep, how did I even survive that? How long can a person go without sleep? It wasn't normal anymore. I sighed and covered the bags, which were very dark by now, up and got breakfast. Sadly only Thomas sat at our table, great. Now I had to talk to him.

"Morning." I greeted.

"Hey," Thomas replied. "You alright?"

"Yes." I lied, again. The fact that it was getting easier for me to lie, made me realize how bad things were.

Soon Logan joined our table and stared at my face for a few seconds. "Is there something on my face?" I snapped.

"No." Logan coldly responded. I leaned on my elbow again and pricked in my food, drained by everything. "What job have you got today, Nora? Or are you still off?" The boy looked at me.

I tried hard to remember my job that day, but couldn't remember. "I don't know." I shrugged and looked down again. Logan's eyes burned on me, but I didn't care and trailed off, again...
I was too tired to think straight, focus on anything, or even remember stuff. It was getting worse. Very worse.

I didn't even notice Liana and Newt leaving. It all got past me somehow, but when I suddenly heard music playing, I shook out of my trance and frowned. Why the hell would someone play music at this time? It was morning!

"Who's playing that?" I wondered out loud. It sounded like a violin, so maybe it was this Alexandra Liana mentioned.

"Playing what?" Thomas looked up.

"The music," I explained. Thomas scrunched his eyebrows.

"What music?" Logan added, also frowning.

"Someone is playing the violin."

Thomas roughly got up from his seat. "Alright, that's it. We're going to the doctor again." He grabbed my arm and pulled me with him.

"Again?" Logan got up too.

"Thomas, stop." I tried to resist and pulled away. "I don't want to go!"

"What do you mean again? Doctors?" Logan followed us.

"Thomas, just let go!" I cried out. He couldn't just control me and bring me to the doctor whenever he wanted to. "It was nothing, okay?"

"What's going on?" Logan almost yelled.

"Nothing!" I argued and tried to pull away again.

"Nothing?" Thomas replied. "You've been getting hallucinations!"

Mad I looked at him. He said he wouldn't tell Logan. "Thomas!" Roughly I pushed him away from me and walked away.