Chapter 46 - I've always wanted to

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Songs of the chapter:
*NSYNC - This I Promise You
Brian McFadden - Wrap My Arms
Ed Sheeran - Wake Me Up
Nicky Byrne - Still The One
One Direction - Little Things
Shane Filan - You And Me
Union J - I Love To Watch You Sleep
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Mark's POV
I entered the studio and directly went to our room. Shane still could manage to gather us here somehow. Well, the making of last album hadn't finished yet because I had worked seperatedly with the lads for the last 6 months so I guessed that was the reason why he still could.

I got in and found Kian strumming some chords with his guitar, Shane writing on a pad of paper, and Nicky eating. It seemed that blonde lad never full. He basically ate everything.

I sighed heavily as I sat down on the couch, earning their attentions to me.

“How was it?” Kian asked, still strumming but a bit softer. Jeez, they were concerned too much about me.

“Unexpected.” I replied honestly, taking my phone out.

“What do you mean by that?” Nicky asked as he sat in front of me seconds later. He finished his thousand bags of chips already I guessed.

“It’s terrible and horrible.”

“Tell us the full version.” Shane joined as he put the pad and the pen on the table. He had been finishing up 'Last Mile of the Way'.

I sighed again. “No." I shook my head. "Not this news.”

“Tell us, Mark. We wanna know. You make us wanna know.” Kian joined too now.

I put back my phone to my pocket. I looked at the ground, feeling very unsure to say it.

I looked up at them and all of them were cocking their eyebrows, waiting for me to pop up the news.

I returned my gaze to the floor and sighed again. “Only few months left.” I said quietly.

Silence appeared.

“No, Mark, you’re kidding, right? Unbelievable, you still have nerves to joke in time like this. We all are serious here.” Nicky broke the silence, shaking his head, not believing any single word that just came out from my mouth. "Cut it out, Mark. Your joke sucks."

I shook my head. “No, Nicky, this is not a joke." I looked up. "This is true. This is the truth you all wanted to hear. I've told ya before."

Silence appeared again.

"How many months?" Nicky asked again, finally accepting that my words weren't jokes. Kian and Shane seemed lost their voices.

"Seven to nine if I'm lucky, less if I'm not."

“Has Jess known about this yet?” Shane finally asked.

“Yeah, has she?” Kian added.

I shook my head again. “Never.” I paused. “I won’t ever tell her.” I stated in serious tone.

“But she has to know, Mark.” Kian replied.

“She’ll lose you soon and you don’t tell her? Oh come on, Mark, what are you thinking?” Shane added.

“It’s better if I leave it at that. I don’t want to see her crying and mourning just because my life is gonna end soon. No, I don’t. It will make the situation worse.”

“Don’t you think by you doing that, you only hurt her so much in the end?” Nicky asked.

I sighed. “I don’t know. I just don't want her to cry over the truth that I'm gonna leave for good soon.” I took my phone out again after it buzzed.

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