Now and Forever - Mark Feehily Fan Fiction [COMPLETED]

Chapter 21 - Doubt

Song of the chapter:

Justin Bieber - What Do You Mean?
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4 months later.

Jess' POV

"What!? You... you...."

I sighed. "There's no other way, Kat."

"There is! There must be! Oh my God, Jess! Are you nut?!"

"I... I don't know, Kat."

"You do know! You're so damn selfish!"

"Selfish?" I asked quietly.

"Yes, selfish! You do this thing, this stupid hurtful thing, to help you solve the problem??! You, are, crazy." Katy was very mad at me right now. Well, so was I. I was very mad at myself too. "Tell him you were just joking, NOW."

"What? I can't Kat. I can't."

"Of course you can!" She continued. "Wait," she paused. "You've broken up with Mark?"

I gulped. "No."

And that was it. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING, JESSICA!? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!? AFTER ALL THIS TIME YOU TWO SPEND TOGETHER, AFTER EVERY SACRIFICE HE DID FOR YOU, YOU DO THIS FUCKING THING!?"

I was wrong, so wrong. I knew it. I realized it. I even fucking believed it.

"Ma...maybe this will help me move...move on and can help me...me to break up with...with Mark."

"BREAK UP WITH MARK!? YOU WANT TO BREAK UP WITH MARK!?!? YOU'RE WILLING TO HURT YOUR TRUE LOVE!? ANSWER ME, JESS!"

"I...I don't think he...he is my tru-"

"I KNOW YOU BELIEVE THAT! HE IS, JESS, HE IS." She took a long sigh to calm down her mind. "He is your true love. DON'T EVER break his heart, DON'T EVER hurt him like that."

I always believe that. Always have and always will.

"I'm hurt too."

"Why just can't you tell him everything!? It will be way a lot easier."

"No it won't be as easy as you think."

"It will."

"I won't, still."

"He doesn't deserve to be hurt like this, you know? He has done many things for you and now you do this? That's, not, fucking, fair!"

"I've done this for his sakes too!" I finally defended.

"HIS SAKES? YOU SAY HIS SAKES? So, do you think, breaking his heart is a fair thing to do?"

I kept silence. No, of course it is not fair, at all.

"Answer me." She repeated.

"N...no but yes."

"No and YES?"

"Ye...yeah." I said. "I do this for him. He doesn't deserve me. He deserves mo...more, Kat, much more." My tears started to flow. "I don't deserve him. Things just seemed like that, I don't deserve him. I know this will hurt us both. I do know that. But this is the best for us, for our sakes. It takes pain first before happiness." I cried.

She softened a bit. She hugged me. "Right, I'm sorry, Jess. I'm sorry for what happens to you two."

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May 28th.

Mark's POV

"Happy birthday, Marky!" Nicky cheered and man-hugged me, followed by Shane and Kian afterwards.