Nick and Charlie 6 years into the future

its okay, baby, its okay

TW: swearing, SH, talk of ED, b*n h*pe 

charlies point of view:

I look down at my wrists, covered in in new fresh cuts and blood dripping down for my arm onto my lap and the floor, I also have a look at Nicks razor the blade of it covered in my blood. what the fuck have i done. i must of been sitting her for around half an hour, shit, nicks going to be so disapointed in me, ive let him down, i promised him ill never self harm again, and now look at what ive done. im so fucking stupid, im an idiot, im ugly, im so skinny, i have scars all over my wrists, how can nick ever love someone like me. ben was probaly right, i am no use. 

still with the razor in my hand i put my hands to my eyes and start crying again, what will nick think of me, i start to calm down when i hear the front door open, fuck nicks home now and now im in the bathroom with blood all over me, on the floor, on nicks razor and new cut on my wrist. fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck i kept thinking. nick walks upstairs and knocks on our bedroom door.

nicks point of view:

i came home from giving a walk to daisy to try and clear my mind, i hate it when people shout, especially if it at me, it reminds me so much of my parents before they got a divorce. i used to put my knees up to my face and put my arms around them rocking back and forth to try and block out the shouting and screaming from both my mum and dad. after when my mum and dad split every time when someone raised their voice in class id just cry. its not as bad now but it will still be in my brain forever, as charlie he has his triggers and i have mine, just happens one of mine is shouting. speaking of charlie i think i need to go check on him.

i walk upstairs and knock on our bedroom door
"char, im home now, can i come in" i ask
no response
"charlie, please dont ignore me" 
still nothing
"charlie" i say raising my voice a little
then i hear a clatter from the bathroom, i check if the bedroom door in locked, yes its unlocked. i open the bedroom and i find charlie no in there, i go over to the bathroom door and knock on it
"charlie are you in here" i ask
there was a long pause 
"...yeah" he says, it sounds like hes been crying
"can i come in please" i say softly
"erm, er, p-please dont g-get angry a-at me" he stutters 
"no, ill never get angry at you, well very rarely" i state

charlie unlocks the door, then i go in and to my horror it looks like someones has been murdered, there was blood all over the floor and on his arm, i look up at charlie, i imediantly knew what he had done, he'd relapsed, charlie looks disapointed in himself, i look down at his hands, he was holding my razor that was covered in blood. i slowy walk over to charlie,

"charl-" 
"nick before you say anything, im so so sorry i didnt mean to do this, it was an accident, i was really stressed out and i didnt know what to do please dont be angry at me" charlie explains quickly, cutting me off    
i take the razor from his hand and put it on the sink and pulled charlie in for a hug
"baby, im not angry at you, not even at the slightest" i insist rubbing his back
"i was doing so well" i say crying onto my shoulder
"i know, i know"
"im sorry if i made you disapointed" he mumbles
"hey im not disapointed, is this why you was acting up this past week" i ask
"mhm, ive just been really stressed out" he say quietly "i just sorry, im so so sorry"
"its okay, baby, its okay, no need to say sorry, okay"
"okay"
"come on lets get you cleaned up" i say moving away from our embrace.

i clean charlie up and the bathroom and he puts on one of my hoodies, well should i say OUR hoodies, at this point we just share my clothes. we lay in our bed just cuddling when i noitist that charlie fell asleep, i get up from our bed and tuck him in, i walk into our bathroom and took my razor and all the other sharp objects in the house and hide them away from charlie, this was only to keep him safe, yes i maybe overprotective but hes my boyfriend and i love him to bits, i only want to keep him safe. i want to spend the rest of my life with him, maybe i should propose, but is it too soon, i dont want to rush things and i dont want charlie to do the awkward 'yes' if he isnt ready to get married yet. maybe im overthinking this, i dont know this sort of stuff stresses me out.

authors note:
okay wow, alot happend in this chapter, nick is think about proposing to charlie, charlie is starting to believe what b*n as told him, god so much to unpack next chapter. sorry that this chapter is a little shorter then the others i kinda didnt know what to write during the end but i think its okay, also i wrote this is under and hour 
anyway bye you smelly little retards