Nick and Charlie 6 years into the future

a day of arguments?

TW: arguments, ED, trying to SH, swearing, shouting, mention of abusive drinking, scars, panic attacks

charlies pov:

i wake up wish nicks arms wrapped around me, hes holding me so tight, i can barely move, maybe im overexaggerating but he does have a good grip, i have a banging headache, i need nick to get off me
"nick" i say trying to shake him awake but no use hes a deep sleeper
"nick" i wisper shout at him, he groans and holds me tighter
"nick get off me" i say louder
"... whats wrong sweetheart" he says still half asleep
"get off me please, its hot, i have a banging headache and i just want to lay by myself" i say slightly acressively, oh shit it sounds like i have some sort of problem with him
"yeah thats fine" he says relesing his grip and moving away from me "but no need to get arsy with me, i just woke up"
"im not being arsy" i snap
"right your in a bad mood so im going to get up so you can have some time to yourself" nick gets up from bed and walks out the bedroom and goes downstairs

fuck, fuck, fuck. i dont even know what happened but i start crying i walk into the bathroom and go to find nicks razor but i cant find it. he must of hid them all when i last self harmed. i look around the whole bathroom and i look in the cupboard under the sink and find a spare razor i pick it up and take it out its packaging and i take the seal of the blade, i go to cut myself when i hear nick calling for me, fuck i must of made alot of noise, i hear him come upstairs and into our bedroom then opening the bathroom door
"charlie what was all that-" he cuts himself off when he sees me sitting in the middle of the bathroom crying into my hands while holding the blade, he imminently crouches infront of me, he takes the razor out my hand and puts it on the floor next to him

nicks pov:

i take charlies wrists and look at them, no cuts, i am so proud of this beautiful man
"charlie im so proud of you" i say pulling charlie into a bear hug "so so proud"
charlie crys on my shoulder for a bit then calms down
"do you want me to run you a bath" i ask stroking his hair, he nods

i pick charlie up and place him on the toilet seat and leave him there as i turn on the bath taps making it the perfect temperature that charlie likes. i was going to make us some breakfast but at this point i'd given up on it and will make us some lunch early for us, but with the state that charlies in i dont want to push him.

i walk over to charlie and undress him slowly before picking him up and placing him in the bath, i go to the the room when charlie calls for me
"nick"
"yes sweetheart"
"can you come in with me" he says shyly
"yeah sure" i say while taking off my boxers then sitting behind charlie

i wrap my arms around charlies waist and pulling him closer to me, his head falling onto my chest.

----------------------

charlies pov:

im sitting in the living room watching stranger things again while nick is in the kitchen making lunch, my headache is much better as i took some aspirin 20 minutes ago
"charlie lunch is done" nick calls out
i pause the tv and walk into the kitchen and see nick placing the plates of food on the table, i sit down and nick sits opposite me. i dont really want to eat so i just take little bites of the sandwich, we carry on eating, when i say we i mean mainly just nick. nicks phone rings, he takes it out of his pocket and looks at whos calling him
"ah, charlie its the school i need to take this"
"thats fine" i smile

nick walks into the living room and picks up the call. Nick works as a primary school teacher, he teaches year one at the truham primary, nick is on a one month break at the moment, i dont know why but he is, he wont tell me the reason. i quietly get up and put my food in the bin and put the plate in the dishwasher. nick comes back in and sees me sitting on the floor playing with daisy
"char, i know you love daisy but you need to eat lunch"
"i have eaten"
"you sure, beacuse i know youve been having trouble with eating at the moment"
"yes i have nick okay, god you dont need to keep babying me i can look after myself" i snap
"you sure you have" he says walking over to the bin then opening it "because that says other whys"
"WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH" i shout
"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU IS THAT A FUCKING PROBLEM, YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I TOOK THAT BREAK OF WORK? BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE WITH YOU, SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOU, I WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU WAS OKAY, YOU WAS THE ONE THAT WAS COMPLAINING THAT I DIDNT SPEND ENOUGH TIME WITH YOU" nick shouts back, tears filling his eyes "IM SORRY FOR LOVING YOU, IM SORRY FOR CARING ABOUT YOU, IM SORRY FOR WANTING TO BE A LOVING BOYFRIEND, IM SORRY LISTENING TO YOU AND WANTING TO BE THERE FOR YOU, IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED"
" I BET THATS ALL A FUCKING LIE, ALL THAT EVERYONE DOES IS LIE TO ME"
"WHEN HAVE I EVER FUCKING LIED TO YOU, THIS IS WHY I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH PEOPLE DRINKING OR BEING HANGOVER OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT, BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT THEY DO, I DONT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH YOU DRINKING BECAUSE I DO IT MYSELF AT TIMES, BUT WHEN YOU DO THIS THATS WHEN I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT" nicks say while sobbing

thats when it hits me, nicks dads was an abusive alcoholic towards him, thats how he got most of his scars both mentally, emotionally and physically, and its true he has been a loving boyfriend towards me but what have i done fuck all, and through out this whole thing we have both scared daisy

"nick" i say standing up trying to give him a hug but he ignores me and walks into the living room and sits on the sofa breaking down, ive never seen him like this. i follow him in.
"nick im so so sorry, i keep treating you like a piece of shit" he doesnt say anything he just sobs into his hands, i walk over to him and go to hug him but he flinches and starts to hyperventilate
"dont hurt me"
"hey i will never hurt you"
"i feel like i cant breath" he starts panicking
"breath with me" nick shakes his head "nick your having a panic attack"
"n-no"
"please nick" i grab his hands as hes digging his nails into the palms of his hands but he pulls them away
"dont touch me please"
"thats fine but just breath with me"
he nods
"breath in 1....2.....3"
"breath out 1...2.....3"

eventuly nick calms down, now i need to find out why nick is acting like this, and what his sick father did to him

A/N:
geez, that happend. poor old nick doesnt desvere what his dad did to him. this chapter was origanly going to be called 'sick day' but im horrible and we needed drama, and i wrote this when it was men mental health week but like its not now but just imagine it is, also sorry if my spelling is horrific i cant spell that the moment. hope you all enjoyed

bye retards