TW: VERY ANGSTY, MENTION OF SH, AND SCARS
It was a long stressful day for me. It was one of your bad days. One of those days where I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror. I hadn't eaten much, actually I don't even remember if I ate. The whole day was kinda a blur. It was now night time, I was going to take a bath. Dabi and Hawks just got home when I was gonna get in.
H:"Hey babybird we're home! Where are you-"
"Shit!"
They rush to the bathroom and the doors locked.
D:"Baby, are you okay?what's wrong?"
H:"Yeah kid, whats wrong?"
I sniffle as I speak
"Nothing, I'm fine."
H:"Babe, Are you crying? Let us in, what's wrong?"
"I said I'm fine! Can't you understand english?!"
I say choking on my words trying not to make if obvious that I'm crying.
D:"Baby, please just let us in. We just wanna know what's wrong."
I unlock the door and get back in the tub. They don't come in.
H:"Can we come in?"
"Yea.."
That was actually kinda sweet. Even after u unlocked the door they still asked if they could come in. They open the door and when they see me they look at me with a blank expression. They're speechless but only for a couple of seconds. After they snap out of it, they rush over to me.
H:"Babe, what happened?? Are you okay?! We're here okay baby you don't need to hurt yourself. We're here for you, songbird."
I start to break down. Every part of my body becomes weak as tears flow through my eyes.
"I'm sorry! I don't even remember doing all of this! I didn't mean to, I'm sorry. I'm so stupid."
D:"Baby no, it's okay just relax, darling. Try to breathe."
"I fucked up! I thought I was getting better! I really did. But I'm here again! Why are yall still with me?? You guys can find someone more stable than me. Why stick with me? Why even deal with me?!?!"
I didn't mean any of those words but I did at the same time. I was angry with myself and when I'm angry I take it out on other people and push them away when they are only tying to help. In this moment I need them the most.
H:"Babybird, don't say that! We all know you didn't mean those words. You're just releasing all those emotions and it's okay. We're here we got you."
"Get away from me! Don't you understand?! I'm broken! You can do so much better! Why do you guys even care for me at all?? All I do is complain about my problems and cry all the fucking time! Stop wasting yalls time with me!"
I push them away from me and I sit there arms crossed and in a ball position. They look at me. They're speechless. They just look at me with sadness in Their eyes. Then I see it. The tears falling from their eyes. Fuck y/n what did you do? They were only trying to help. I stand up and run to the kitchen. I grab a kitchen knife and hold it against my chest. Dabi and Hawks soon come rushing over to me.
D:"Y/n.. put the knife down."
"No.. I'm solving the problem for you guys since you don't get it. If I'm gone you'll be happy and won't have to worry about me."
I smile through my tears
H:"Don't do this y/n. You know you don't want to."
Hawks slowly makes his way up to me trying to pull the knife away from my grasp. But I won't budge.
D:"Think of everyone you'd be hurting. You think they don't care about you? They do even if they don't act like it. Even the ones who act like they care they really do. Like me and Hawks. Think of who'd be hurting the most. Me, Hawks, your mom, your dad, your cousin, your aunt, your uncle. You get my point but what I'm saying is you'd basically be hurting everyone. If you follow through with this."
I think about it for a second then relize what he said is true. I stop crying.
I sigh and the knife falls to the floor.
"I can't"
H:"Atta girl"
D:"Now come here so we can take care of you, beautiful."
I walk over to them and I give them a big hug. Then when im done Hawks picks me up and lays me on the couch, dabi gets the bandages and starts putting bandages over the places I cut. I feel bad on what I did now. I regret cutting. Because just thinking of the scars they're gonna leave and there's now gonna be new ones. I'm an idiot.
When Dabi is done bandaging me Hawks gives me my favorite fluffy pajamas. He puts them on me and before Hawks can pick me up, Dabi does. He takes me to the bedroom and just starts cuddling. Sooner or later Hawks makes it to the bedroom and cuddles me too. I smile and kiss the both of them.
"I love you two sooooo muchhhh."
H:"Awww I love you too, songbird."
D:"I love you too, sweetie. Don't ever forget that."
In this moment I'm just feeling loved, like EXTREMELY LOVED. A genuine and true love. I'm proud.
