I feel like i've lost years i haven't lived-September

Does This Prove Im Broken?

The girl kept Phil sitting close on the couch next to her. She was actually very afraid of this therapist, but they also gave her a really safe feeling too.

"So Carson, my name is Eret. I hope you don't feel as though this is an invasion of privacy but i was given copies of your police reports and adoption records."

"No i understand."

She was curling into Phils side slightly, it was clear she was trying to make herself as small as possible. Something Eret often sees children do as a defense mechanism.

"Can you tell me about your birth dad a little bit Carson?"

"There's not much to know about him. He was a mean bastard and im glad he's dead."

"It says he died when you were ten in your file. Is that true?"

"Yeah. He was beat to death in prison. Fucker deserved it."

Phil looked at Carson and held her a little closer. He had never known much about her birth dad. She definitely never told them that he was dead.

"His name was Johnathan right? Johnathan Williams."

She just nodded her head

"When did your mom die Carson?"

"What is this an interview?"

"Im just asking questions, you don't have to answer if you don't want to."

Carson was now stuck in her thoughts. She couldn't do that to them. Part of Carson wanted to hate them. Part of her wanted to never have to talk about this again. Part of her absolutely couldn't stand that she trusted these people. But she promised Tommy, and she really did want help. She couldn't exactly say no. So after a long sigh she started talking

"She died when i was two. Overdosed on heroine. I don't really remember her, not that it matters. I like to think she was a nice person, maybe she was an asshole. But now none of it matters since shes gone."

"So you hate your dad. Do you hate your mom too?"

"Don't call him that and of course i hate her. She knew what he was like. She knew what he was capable of and she let me stay with him. She let him do things to me. She knew exactly who he was and she still overdosed. She still left me with him. Am i supposed to be her biggest fan?"

"No, i just wanted to know what you think about her."

"Shes dead. I don't think about her at all"

"Okay, why dont we take a second and calm down a little bit. Im not trying to anger you, i just want to know your take on things."

Carson looked at them for a second. Her take on things? Her take? Really. This was the second person since she met this family to believe her over a file. It partly felt good, but also Carson couldn't stand having to talk about it over and over.

"You wanna hear what i think happened in my life?"

"No Carson i want to know how the deaths and imprisonments of these people have affected you."

She took a deep breath in

"Okay. Fine. What else do you want to know?"

"I heard that your last foster family got put in prison. What do you think of that?"

"I don't think of it much. Hope their kids are okay though. They were sweet kids."

"What do you think of the parents?"

"I don't."

Phil looked down at Carson slightly. He had never heard her so calm yet so angry. The man still had his arm lightly around the girl and she was still cuddled into his side. Carson felt Phil staring and looked up at him. He didn't seem disappointed like she had expected. The girl just laid her head on his shoulder and waited for the next question.