I feel like i've lost years i haven't lived-September

It's Just Life.

It was only a few more minutes until everyone had eaten and they all shuffled off to do their own things.

Wilbur to go work on his newest song.

Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo to do a 'you laugh you lose' stream.

Techno to film a video for his youtube channel

Carson went to her room and changed into a pair of pajamas before both Carson and Phil went into Phil's room, since Carson still had to be within someones sight. Carson was sitting on the bed while Phil did some stuff for work on his computer. The girl was just watching some random twitch stream when she thought about her dream from last night.

The Morrison's were the only good family she ever had. Of course it was just her luck that they died right? If they hadn't gone to that stupid dinner..

Carson was happy that she met the Watsons. She was happy she got to be apart of such a stupidly loving family. She just wished she could have got them first. Maybe then the Morrison's would still be alive. But thats not the point.. they told her to 'trust them' that they were 'good for her'. Carson wanted to believe that with every bone in her body. So maybe she should?

Phil is right there. She could tell him everything right now and she would never have to say it ever again. There was absolutely nothing stopping her but herself.

So why was she?

Carson snapped out of her thoughts when Phil tapped her on the shoulder. She looked at him confused

"I asked if you were okay. You've been staring at the wall for like twenty minutes now."

The girl let out a breath before she spoke

"Oh. Yeah i'm okay dad."

She hoped that the man would believe her, but the way he just kept staring and raised an eyebrow showed she wouldn't be let off that easily. Phil sat down beside her and waited for Carson to talk more and after a few moments of silence, she did.

"No one ever talks about how bad cigarettes can actually burn you."

Carson spoke quietly with sadness evident in her voice.

Phil nodded his head in understanding, waiting for Carson to continue once again. She pulled up the sleeve of her shirt and showed ten to twenty perfect circle burns. Phil had noticed them before, yes, but he never noticed how many there were. He also never noticed all the other scars she had. A few being jagged and others being deep straight lines.

"I mean you hear all the time that they can burn you and that you shouldn't smoke but no one ever tells you how bad they do. Or how many you can make with one cigarette.."

Carson looked up from her arm and looked at Phil instead. The man seemed shocked. It didn't surprise Carson, he had just seen about a dozen of her scars.

"Im sorry you went through that sunshine."

Phil said as he put an arm around Carson and pulled her close to him. Surprisingly she didn't fight this, she instead leaned into the touch.

"Its just life dad."

"You keep saying that as if it makes what you've been through any better."

Carson sighed

"I know it doesn't. It just makes it easier to deal with."

Phil nodded slightly and hugged Carson closer. The girl sighed and refocused on the tv, Tommy's stream was playing on it. The chat wasn't being the nicest and even with Ranboo and Tubbo there Tommy was still getting upset at what chat was saying. From the television Carson heard the blonde boy talk again, but his voice broke as he spoke. Carson looked at Phil with a sad expression on her face

"Should i go up there?"

Phil nodded his head lightly

"He might like that."

That was all the girl needed to hear for her to jump off the bed and run into Tommy's room.