Her Second Chance

Chapter 1

8 August(Thursday )
Alex POV

I wish I could take a peek into my future, so I could see what it was going be like. Would I feel this loneliness forever? Would I ever feel the touch of love again or of being loved?I guess,I probably will never know until it happened. That's if it ever happened.I guess nobody knows what the future holds. I could wish and envision.Thinking of what life could really be like, and keep on thinking what if? What if I chose differently?What if I didn't make decisions based on my feelings? What if I didn't open my heart that easily?What if I didn't let my heart feel emotions I once vowed I would not feel? What if I kept to the promise I once made myself not to let my life be ruled by the heart, instead the mind?If I had known I'm certain my life would have turned out differently.However it's dawned on me that I can't live on what if's anymore. Because as much as I wanted to wish for something different. I have to admit, and be realistic that wishes dont come true.That dreams of how I wanted life to be were only in my subconscious mind, and may never come to pass.I guess that's the reason why I find myself daydreaming of how my life could be. Dreaming of the life I always wanted. Wishing for something different, but soon enough though reality always comes knocking , and I realise I can't daydream forever, because in reality. I don't have the perfect life, or the perfect partner, or child, and currently life basically sucks, but I have to be grateful for being alive, because even though life isn't the way I want it to be I do believe wholeheartedly that my life is about to change, and my journey of life is going to take a different turn. I have come to realise that as a woman I only have this one life, so I want to live it without barriers, live it without doubts, or wondering what would people say, I want to live my life the way it was suppose to be. Living without regrets. To love passionately.To kiss the one I love as often as I could. Dance as much as I want to ,under the moonlight in the arms of the one I truely loved, and who loved me back . So I can't hold back anymore. I cannot hold back from the most important thing, and that is loving myself. Because I forgot along the way, that if I didn't love myself, then nobody else was going to. I realise that nobody would appreciate me, if I didn't appreciate myself.

Those were my thoughts a few months back.When nothing made sense.That's the reason why after so many years of living in an unhappy, non loving, one sided marriage. I decided to make the most important decision I ever had to. Finally I had a chance to be happy, and start over. That's the reason why I used all of my savings, and bought 2 tickets to Ireland to begin a new chapter with my son. The future is unknown, but is open to so much possibilities.A future that is filled with hope, and dreams, and new beginnings.A future that at one time in my dark life seemed so far away.... seemed impossible. My time has come, and my time is now, so lets see what the future holds for me. Alexandra Dinai.

"Earth to Alex. Anybody there? Alex! What's gotten into you girl.I've been calling you for the last 5 minutes, and you didn't hear a damn thing.Are you okay?You seem so far away." Jen questions

"I'm sorry Jen,I just went back in time. Getting lost in my thoughts.Rembering things that should be forgotten is becoming a habit recently. What were you saying?"

"I asked if you've settled in as yet." She smiles

"Yes I kinda did, but now I have more unpacking to do, because some of my stuff arrived from home yesterday. So more unpacking for me. Its already a month can you believe it?" I smile

"Ye the month did fly.To think when you arrived, you were so scared.I remember when I first saw you.I thought.What the hell? Where did this woman come from? With your ghost like expression, and frightened eyes.But you've become quiet confident, and turned out to be quiet cool too" she says laughing