Her Second Chance

Chapter 3

10 August(Saturday)

Alex's POV

The sun on my face awakens me up the next day to a beautiful Saturday morning,which has brought in beautiful weather.Reminding me that today is laundry day.Gettting up I go use the loo, wash up, and brush my teeth.I change into yoga pants, and a t shirt and the day of chores starts. Yet again breakfast is forgotten.Before I know it the day has flown, and it's midday.My chores are done, and I'm exhausted. However I still need to put the laundry away. I start that and go into Josh's to do the same. As I turn to leave I notice a photograph underneath Josh's homework table. Picking it up I realise it's a picture of Josh and Todd. This was taken when Josh was a year old.At that time I thought we could make it work.I thought we could be a family, but I was wrong.I kept making excuses as to why I should stay with him, and before I knew it, 8 years of my life got wasted.I realise now that even though Todd caused us so much pain, he loved Josh in his own way. It just wasn't enough.As the years went by Todd hurt us with his absence at home. Leaving us home alone on weekends, whilst he was out with friends.Making excuses that he didn't have money to take us out.Coming home in the early hours of the morning.I just took and took. Not saying anything.Thinking that my silence was better than an argument, and also I didn't want Josh to know there was a problem.I was wrong because it hurt like hell.I remember how he used to swear at Josh for menial things, and each time he did, my anger towards him grew. Anger turned to dislike, and that turned to me not loving him anymore.I distanced myself from him to an extent, where I could'nt stand being in the same room as him.I blamed myself for so long. Thinking it was my fault that he behaved that way, but I realised it wasn't, because I could'nt blame myself for someone else's inability to love.He took so much of my self esteem, time and energy, and I'm still doing it, even now.The tears running down my face proves it.Damn!Damn! No more.I won't allow thoughts of him to darken my present and future. Not ever.Enough of this bullshit.

Taking a shower to relax my mind and sore muscles really helped.I moisture my skin and put on sexy underwear. Jeans, tank top, light sweater, and flats complete my look.My hair does'nt need work, so I just brush it out, letting it flow.Looking in the mirror, I must admit the look is not bad.I actually think the sexy underwear ads to my sudden burst of confidence.Someone once told me that wearing sexy underwear boosts a lady's confidence. I guess they were right.I'm now ready for shopping.I grab my purse, and head out. As I drive away I decide to leave the windows down, so I feel the wind in my hair.I've always wanted to do that, and the fresh country air is so beautiful. Jen filled me in on Ireland weather, so I know what to expect.It's August now so it's autumn.That reminds me my birthday is in a weeks time.It's not going to be easy being away from family, but atleast I have my baby with me.I actually have a feeling that this birthday is going to be a special one.Something that I've never experienced before, and why not?I think I deserve it, no holding back.

I arrive at the the green grocer. That is exactly what it is called,'The green grocer'.I find a parking and head inside.They have everything from fresh produce, meat, fish, poultry, and whatever else one might require in one's kitchen.Walking around I remember the first time I came here.Firstly getting here was a mision.I had just started driving, and I got lost, fearing I might end up in some ally.I laugh because when I think about it now, it seems funny, but at that time I was shit scared.To make things worst, I had dropped all of my groceries outside.Silly Alex.Not anymore though.I'm still scared of ending up in the ally, but atleast I'll know what to do.Being confident really helps.Now I go in search of everything I require.I get some fish, veg , chicken, and steak, because Josh really loves everything besides vegetable.He pretends to be dieing when he has to complete his veg.Next stop fruit.I stop at the beautifully arranged apples.I pick a few, and unfortunately one decides to fall, and starts rolling away.I hate seeing food on the floor, so I go after it locating it a few feet away.I'm about to go pick it up, but someone beats me to it.I can't see who it is because his back faces me, so I turn to walk away, but a voice like velvet Irish, with a little American in it stops me