Her Second Chance

Chapter 24

Monday (30 November)

Alex's POV

Broken hearted. Despair. Desolation. All the emotions I feel right now. Three days and no change. Josh has not come out of the coma. The doctor says there isn't any change. So for three days I've sat here, only going home to shower and change. The family have been by everyday. Luke's been with me every minute he could so I'm grateful. I've prayed and pleaded and still no change. It's like my baby has shut down and he doesn't want to come back to me. I look at him just laying there and I feel I might die with this pain. I don't think I'll be able to survive without him. He's my reason for smiling. He's the reason I moved her, because I wanted to give him a better life, and now look at him. This is all my fault. I'm to blame for what has happened. I'm to blame for my son laying in this bed. I still don't really know how this happened, but I'm going to find out, and I will not let this go. I can't imagine my life without Josh. He's been my lifeline for so long. He was with me for every horrible moment in my life. As much as I tried to hide it, he knew. That's how sensitive he was. I remember how upset he was when it was mine and Todd's tenth anniversary. He couldn't understand why his father chose to be with his friend than with me. I remember him saying

"Mum how can dad spend his anniversary with his friends instead of you. I will not be that way mum"

He sounded so grown up. Then his dad passed away two months after, and he showed no emotion at all. I tried talking to him, but he didn't want to. I decided then that I needed to get away. I needed to start a fresh. Just for Josh. Maybe I shouldn't have.  Maybe I should have remained where I was, then Josh would be okay. I tried to give him a better life. But I was wrong. It's all my fault. I feel like I've been sitting here forever, and this waiting is taking a toll on me. I'm so tired I feel like I'm falling, but I can't sleep, because I need to be awake for my son. So I just lay my head on his hand

"Josh baby. Come on. Get up. I know you can hear me. It's mum. I need you to come back to me baby. You have to. We have so many more adventures to explore, and I need you with me." I whisper

But still no change, so I just remain like that, and after sometime I drift off too sleep. I dream of a beautiful dark haired baby girl. With fair skin, and dark brown eyes.The dream is so real that I could almost touch her. I reach out,but nothing.  Then I hear a faint voice.

"Mum"

It's more like a whisper, so I ignore it. Then I hear it again

"Mum"

I jut awake realising it's Josh. Jumping up I touch his face

"Josh. You're awake baby"

I run out,shout for the nurses,and get back to my son

"Oh baby. You're awake.You scared me buddy."I kiss his face.

"I'm...okay.. Mum." He touches my face, and I almost choke on the forming tears.

By then the doctor has arrived and they usher me out the room. I walk toward the lounge to get some coffee, and I see Luke,Jen and Cole. I run toward them to share the great news, but I stop. Luke is agitated. And then I hear him

"Jen this my fault. The reason why those reporters harassed Josh was because of me. To make it worst it was Susannah who leaked Josh's whereabouts."

Jen realises I'm there,and tries to steer Luke away from the subject, but it's too late. I already know the reason my son was in a coma for three days. The reason for this heartache. Luke must have noticed Jens reaction, because he turns around. Face anxious,and angry, however when he sees me it becomes soft. The thoughts that are swirling around my head are more disappointment and hurt rather than anger, because I know what must now be done. He must have sensed my thoughts because he shakes his head