Her Second Chance

Chapter 25

1 Week later (5 December)

Alex's POV

It's been five days that I haven't seen or spoken to him. It's been five long days of anguish. I feel. No. I can't feel. All I know is that my heart has a whole in it now. And it's been left in that status from the absence of Luke. I actually believe that maybe I'm never going to see or speak to him again, and I know it's my fault so I accept it. I also know that I'm strong, and capable of being on my own. So that's how it's going to be. Josh was discharged today, so he's snuggled up in bed, and it's time for me to prepare supper. Switching on the stove, I gather my ingredients to begin, but I'm interrupted by the doorbell. Instinctively my heart starts to beat. I know it's him, but I won't allow myself to feel happy. I go get the door, and at the sight of him I feel that jolt of familiar feelings run through me.

"Hi." I whisper

"Hey baby. Can I come in?" He asks

I nod. He walks in. Stops and Kisses me on cheek. I've missed him so much. I just want him to hold me. But I don't initiate it. He must sense my rigidity, so he steps back.

"Alex. I'd like to speak to Josh if it's okay."

"Yes Luke. It's okay. He's in his room."

He doesn't respond, instead makes his way to Josh's room. I watch him go, and somehow I no longer have the desire to cook, so I switch off the stove, and head to my room. I lay on the bed, and I can smell his cologne. It's going to be difficult without him, but I'll be okay. After about half an hour of just laying there, I make my to Josh. Obviously Luke would be gone by now. As I reach his room, I stop, because I hear both their voices

"Don't you want to be my dad anymore Luke." Josh asks

"No son. That's not it. You are already my son, and you always will be. Nothing is going to change that. Mum and I are just sorting some issues out, and pretty soon we'll be a family yea."

"I'm sorry dad. It's my fault. Mum just wants to protect me. That's why this happened."

"It isn't your fault buddy. I want to protect you as well. I just didn't do a good job, and that upset mum. Now I'm going to be away in London for a while, but I'll be back for your birthday. You need to rest, and get stronger so you can be the man of the house okay."

"Nah. Don't wanna be the man of the house. You can take that title." Josh laughs,but goes quiet

"What's the matter buddy. Why the long face again?Luke asks

"Will you promise me that you won't abandon us Luke. The only time I've ever seen mum happy, was after she met you. She needs you dad." Josh says. Bringing tears to my eyes.

"Never Josh. I promise you. I will never abandon you or mum. Never. I'm going to miss you guys a lot." Luke says

"I'll miss you more Dad." Josh replies

I don't hear anymore. Because I head to the kitchen. I stand facing the window. Looking out at the garden allowing the tears to fall. For some reason from not been able to cry at all, I've since become very emotional. I can't let Luke see me like this, so I go hide away in my room again. I go out to the patio,breathing in the crisp winter air. Somehow my mind drifts back to Luke. There is so many memories of him in this very spot. Actually I see him everywhere. And I'm grateful at least I have those beautiful memories. Luke has also been so good for Josh. But. It's not the right time. We're average people, and he's a star. That's it. It'll never work. Now I need to pick up my wounded heart, and shut it again.

After standing there for a little while longer, feeling the chill through my bones I head back in. I turn around and come face to face with sad brown eyes. Luke is there. Looking broken. There are bags under his eyes and a stubble on his face. I feel my heart breaking. I don't want to hurt him. But I can't do this. I walk toward him, and he smiles softly