ATEEZ : One Shots

Secrets From The Bottle

Seonghwa x ATEEZ

Seonghwa's sitting in a dimly lit pub with the rest of ATEEZ, nursing a glass of soju. He takes a deep breath, glancing around the room, searching for a distraction from the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions in his mind. His fingers trace the rim of his glass. The liquid swirled, a translucent reflection of his swirling thoughts. He knew he can't escape the internal battle that had been gnawing at him for far too long.

The weight of his secret is suffocating, a constant companion that whispers doubts and fears into his mind. He had tried to bury his true self, to hide the truth from the world and even from himself. But as the weeks turned into months, and the months into years, he realized that he could no longer deny who he was.

Seonghwa's gaze drifts around the table, seeking solace in the faces of his group mates. Each member seems so effortlessly themselves. It was a stark contrast to the storm raging within him.

His heart aches for the freedom to embrace his own truth, to cast aside the chains of Korea's strict societal expectations and embrace his authentic self. But the fear of rejection grips him, tightening its hold with every passing day. What if his seven closest friends, who are like his family, couldn't understand? What if they turned away, unable to accept him for who he truly was?

He downed a nearby shot of vodka, the bitter taste taking his mind off of his sorrows. The alcohol burned his throat, momentarily distracting him from the emotional turmoil swirling within. But he knew he can't drown his feelings in alcohol, but oh boy is he trying to!

Seonghwa's mind flashed with memories of the past, of the bullying he endured in his previous school where his truth had been spread like wildfire. He had been forced to leave, seeking refuge in this new environment. But even now, like ten years later, he found himself hesitating to reveal the truth. The scars of rejection still haunted him, a reminder of the pain he had endured.

His bandmates, the members of ATEEZ, had become his family, his pillars of strength. They always stand by him through thick and thin, their bond is unbreakable. Yet, the fear of their judgment lingers like a shadow, falsely threatening to shatter the foundation they'd built with him.

Seonghwa's grip on the soju glass tightened, his knuckles turning white.

Seonghwa has been wrestling with his sexuality for some time now. At first, he attributed his attraction to both men and women to just being a natural part of puberty and hormones. But as time went on, he found out about the term bisexual, and he started to investigate what that meant for him.

Which, in his conservative all-boys school, led to a lot of bullying — and it was bad. So after he was forced to switch schools because of said bullying, he promised himself he wouldn't tell another soul. And it's been eating him up inside ever since.

As he gazes into the depths of his drink, he notices San coming back to the table to take his seat next to the oldest, a curious expression on his face, "Hey, Seonghwa-hyung, you doing alright? You seem a bit... quieter than usual tonight. Is something bothering you?"

Seonghwa glances up at San, then back down at his almost empty glass, then back up at him, a hint of defiance in his eyes. His voice carries a slight waver as he tries to deflect the younger's questioning, "You worry too much about me! I'm fine, really! Just had a tough day, that's all. Let's not make a big deal out of it."

San exchanges a concerned look with the other members, a silent understanding passing between them. They all know Seonghwa well enough to sense when something's up, even if he tries to brush it off. Still, they try to respect his boundaries and don't want to push him too hard. He reaches out and gently places a hand on his arm, offering a gentle reminder, "Seonghwa, it's okay not to be okay sometimes. We're here for you, no matter what. If you ever want to talk or need support, know that we're right by your side."