If I Lie : Book 2

80. I Started A Joke

Sunday Evening

Ashley POV

I had found myself between the proverbial rock and a hard place, waiting and waiting endless little hours. The endless comments after the baby shower ricocheted message after message on my phone; Some guests were upset they were invited to our impromptu shower for the star: Me and the baby. Most were happy for me and to see me "alive" after all this time. Everyone had managed to ignore the elephant in the room: Eliza's status of whether she was dead or alive, out of her coma or in it, and with grace no one bought it up or made me feel uncomfortable. It was a miracle turnout. 

I received many clothing, toys, gifts, and necessities I hadn't known I needed for the baby. Nearly every corner of the house was stacked with gifts as much as there were full stomachs. We had leftovers for days and days, I found no pleasure in wasting the food the staff prepared and begged people to take it home. Most of them were Eliza's friends who thought they were too good to take leftovers. I ate and ate, hungrier than ever, upsettingly hungry and increasingly on edge. My own line of focus was in drawing or coloring on pages of adult coloring books. 

My drawing subject is Eliza, who lies motionless in her bed. The nurses Josslyn sent over are helpful, they managed to wash her every day and keep her clean and presentable in normal pajamas rather than an ugly and itchy hospital gown. I thought she'd prefer her monogram pajama short set. 

Some of my joy has been restored in the short while she has returned home to us. The kids seem better. I seem better. I spend my time talking to her when I do not draw her resting in the bed. She seems peaceful, every now and again it isn't a complete letdown-- This coma she's in. She makes little facial movements, she will ever so slightly cringe, or her lips gently shape into what could only be interpreted as a small, though it is too faint. 

I hold her hand or rest my head on her lap and take her hand to my stomach to let her feel our baby kicking. 

Just today I was telling her about the gifts I-- We received, holding her hand as I look outside our window. If she were awake she could sit up and watch the kids play from the guestroom window. "I have one too many breastmilk baggies than I have any idea to do with. We also have a baby journal and one of those old-fashioned instant photo cameras, I took a photo of myself and added it to the journal already and now we're just waiting on you to add yours in there. I can't wait for her to meet you, she's going to love you. How couldn't she? The kids are playing fair for once, they're all getting along. See? This predicament of ours has a bright side! God, you probably think I'm crazy, listening to me."

I said everything I could get off my chest to Eliza, hoping she is listening. Hoping I am not annoying her as the never-ending time in the dark passes on. Hoping I am giving her some sort of comfort. Praying she hears our kids running around the house and remembers I can't-- No, Don't want to do this alone. If she wants to do it with me. 

But that was earlier. Dinner is prepared and we figured now that I am a beached whale ready to give birth about any day now, I shouldn't move too much, I haven't left the second floor of the house in the past two days. Everything is bought for me by the nurses. Ellis comes in the mornings to check on me and checks in with me throughout the day. She's impressed with how I handle Eliza being in a coma and due for delivery while being a mother I forget how many kids I have and now our new baby is on the way. Everyone has dinner with me in the guest room around Eliza. 

Josslyn and Alan sit in a corner with a plate, still ashamed of their past behavior although all is forgiven. The room is full and happy with beautiful people, our chosen family.