If I Lie : Book 2

32. Needed Me pt. 1

Ansel POV

As the driver of this family for years since I have never been so nervous to pick anyone up; I've gone to some of the worst neighbor hoods in confidence, even. But never in my twenty-three years had I been this nervous to drive. Knowing she wouldn't forgive me and possibly, never, either. Even Simon and Garfunkel could keep me cool, there was a ring of silence in the air of the car that I hadn't expected. Even with Mattias' ramblings that managed to dull out in my head. 

I remember all those many years ago when Eliza picked me up in a bar from a fight, that woman saved my life. She gave me purpose and sight. I hadn't stopped since then, I met Jean's mother in Ireland like that, when Eliza was on vacation and she gave me the gift of being a father. Nothing could prepare me for meeting the love of my life and I thought fatherhood was the hardest. All the same, I pulled up to her home that she resided here, in Los Angeles. 

A big enough home for them both, far away from everyone else and covered in green. Nerf guns on the grass in front of the house, a small play set to the side, the swing set covered in water from last night's storm and a red monkey bar. The pool was in the back. It was modest, the house. A night shade purple door behind them and white columns holding up the porch ceiling, a swing chair and many pink roses covering the house.

None a sight of the house was as beautiful as her. I rolled the window down and called for the boy, "let me help you out with those son!" I came out of the car to help the boy with his suitcase and watched his mother carefully, just as carefully as she was watching me too. 

"Nephew!" Mattias hopped out of the car to give the boy a hug while I walked to the porch to his mother, collecting the bag. 

"Noah, get in the car," Valentina ordered. He and his uncle scurried to the back of the car where I stood in front of his mother. "you can go now, you got him." she spat. 

Valentina was so cold like I had never seen before. "Valentina, please," I begged her. "if I knew--"

"You knew and you still did it, what you did was selfish!" 

I nodded. "you're right, it was selfish and I still choose you over her, I can quit this job any day and retire, start over but you have to realize I love you, doesn't that mean anything?"

"Love?" she scoffed. "love has nothing to do with the fact that your boss tried to have my son killed and the only reason he is here is because I did what no one else could do. You knew everything and it didn't come to your head that you could've came up to me like a normal person?"

"How could I have came up to you? You would've rejected me anyway, was I supposed to say 'hey do you want to go out some time? My boss is the woman who aborted your son but that doesn't matter? No, God no!" 

I needed her to forgive me, I wasn't leaving without her. Not again. "I won't leave, I've done too much to get here only to lose you."

"Oh so I am some kind of thing to you, huh? You think that I am something that was bought in an auction or won and now you have a sense of entitlement to me? You really are apart of them."  she said with disgust on the tip of her tongue. "I don't think I can forgive you Ansel,"

"Can't or won't?' I asked. 

"Won't." she corrected. 

I threw the suitcase aside and pulled her into my arms, taking her from the top of the step and falling off, catching her. I kissed her longingly, feverishly and angrily. "p-please stop!" she failed to push me off. I am too strong. "Ansel . . ." she cried.