Issa commentary!
I think when coming to write this sequel of a small beloved or either hated novel I had the clearest thoughts of "okay, I know this is what they've seen. This is what they loved about it" for me I wanted everyone who reads "If I Lie" to come to a point of uncomfortably. For those characters you thought you knew, there really is things you don't know. More so to pull away the seat just before you sit on it. I want you guys to see that everything is not as it seems.
I had the thought only to come back if I did write this book to create character growth and some kind of magic. As well as reality. I had noticed in writing "Yes, Ms. Robinson" there was nothing but fantasy. That every character was much like a child, young, unknowing of the world no matter what they'd lost before all to come back 10 years later in the time like, we have a pair. Two wives still affected by not just the deaths of those they've either killed or lost. But over time something in them dying.
Ashley's miscarriage with her daughter Virginia, I still intend to make that a problem but not as much of a problem upon the first chapters that did come out. We had our chance to experience what Ashley thought. But the second time around I wanted to have the proper "getting to know you" on Eliza. Fix the wrongs I started when I poorly portrayed her in the first book. She had no sense of consent and with Lita we can really see that she does have consent on her arm now.
I can relate to this a lot. As a 14 first writing this book up until now I am 18 with the second I didn't know anything at first other than okay "there are these straight BDSM novels. I want to make a legit one that is purely lesbian for everyone that deserves a piece of the gay community in BDSM"at the same time my boyfriend and I were trying out things that were kinky and such. I was getting into comfortability with my sexuality.
Now that I know who I am. What I like. What I feel. I want you all to experience that as well in this book.
It was child's play at first. I've created some new situations that are less physical. Such as the after math of Alex, Dylan and Bee.
I had in my mind to still give them life even after all that's happened. How these people still torment each and every Robinson in the family. Eliza's resentment, Ashley's loss, Heidi-Vera and Irina's burden. Even down to something like Noah. We've got this smart and incredible young man who is already capable of so much at the age of 11.
The constant struggle is self identification and how he processes that through pain, anger and eventually masturbation. He doesn't know it but he's a lot like Alex. I want to create that part of him that's never dead. For me I related to it a lot. Since I was born I never had a father and finally to know who he was and meet him a few times, suddenly then did my traits I got from him rise during my 16th birthday. I grew up with a single mom just like Noah and although I didn't turn blue, diabetes was tough on me. The same way it was on Noah. Always have to be smart, perfect, a perfect picture of pale health.
I took from Valentina in what I saw about my mom.
From Eliza, her ability to be so cut throat yet all too vulnerable and break down alone or how she cheated on those she loves so dearly... That's me as well. Sorry to say that but it's true.
Ashley was also a part of me, the naivety. How we've got this motherly figure, this person so hurt and has lost so much. But I think that is what is so beautiful about her character is that unlike others she doesn't just want to sweep her problems under the rug and exactly move on like Eliza. She feels things as she always has. So sharply. When I first created her in the first book I made her out to be all that I am not and will never be.
And in Vera although I never knew it, I created a monster of a character that is always seeking forgiveness. That's what a lot of people can love about her I guess. She took Phillip from Joss, she would let bad things happen to Eliza and Joss, and in turn enjoy and do what her sisters had done wrong to them. By years later she comes to regret ever not helping them, understanding her sisters problems, and how altogether she could have saved them. Besides Ashley, Vera is the most human. She shows what it means to be prideful and live with the consequences of pride, addiction and such having to not only recover but keep recovering. Bennett truly being healthy in this way that is so subtle.
The expectations of this book aren't what you guys will be met with. Not even the ones I was expecting but that is the beauty of it all. That it has become more realistic. More verbal than physical. Hopefully more human. Intricate to say the most and more flawed to say the least. You guys inspire me everyday through every comment to be bigger and better with the content I write. I hope by the time I've ended this book which will be by the end if next year hopefully our before that, you will have seen how far we've gone since the beginning.
End of commentary
Comment and tell me what has been your favorite part of the series. In either book 1 or 2.
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If I Lie : Book 2
Romance"I am yours, doesn't that mean anything to you?" I asked her. "I would never leave you even at your worst," but now was a time worse as ever; the bruises on my behind were proof and the tremble resonating throughout my body were screaming by her h...
