The Nightmare Of Life

Chapter-14: Zyra

Taylor and Zyra meet Deborah and Johnathan they are going to be your new foster parents, says Mrs. Statler, a Mexican American female with a small belly, brown eyes, and short curly hair. We always see her wearing a blue suit. Mrs. Statler has worked with us for many years and so far has always tried to take care of us, but given that this is our fourth foster home in as many years you can see why Tay and I are extremely skeptical. Deborah is a very beautiful black girl with long, pretty blue hair, and Johnathan is a white male with brown eyes and is bald. You can tell that Johnathan is many years older than Deborah. Yeah, to break the fourth wall here, we didn't last long with them. One fight, and they shipped us back to the shelter. Hi, it's me, Zyra, and I wanted to explain why I am the way that I am, and it's a long story, so bare with me. So, as I previously said back when I first met Emerald that I've been moving around a lot, well she doesn't know the half of it. My younger sister and I have been to a total of 7 foster homes in 5 years, and let me be clear, my sister and I always try to behave accordingly and sometimes it's just the people that took us in are not ultimately ready to have children. It's normal for us, and it grew Tay and I together. It's always been her and I, and unfortunately her and I have acted differently towards our lives. As you can see with Emerald, Tay uses her inner anger to pick on someone else. She never wants to be a bully, and every time she does pick on someone, she regrets it a week later. I guess it's how she copes... I can assure you that between you and me, Tay and Em are going to be best friends. But back to me, sorry, I got a little side tracked there. Our first family was an older couple who just wanted some company. That was a nice life, and this was, of course, when Tay and I were toddlers. I remember it like it was yesterday the farm that we lived on and the beautiful horses and sheep and cattle it was all so beautiful. Tay and I had our own rooms, and we thought the first home was the one well sadly it wasn't. The husband, whose name was Walter, passed away in his sleep, and Melinda, who was the wife, blamed his death on us. I remember her sitting us down and just yelling at us. She said that if we kids weren't such stress, maybe Walter would still be here. She went on to call us a mistake and that she shouldn't have never opened up her home to us. Needless to say, she gave us up a couple of weeks after Walter passed. Tay and I were heartbroken, I mean, that's not the kind of stuff you say to a toddler. We found out by Mrs. Statler a few months later that Melinda passed away to heart failure. Let's fast forward to our second home. This was a single mom with an apartment and another kid. Emilia was this really beautiful white girl with blue eyes and a skinny body, I remember her having such beautiful brown hair that I would play with constantly. She had a son named Jace, and he was older than us by a few years but always treated us like we were a part of the family. This only didn't work our because Emilia lost her job and she felt that if she can barely take care of Jace than she wont be able to take care of us so she gave us back but she gave us her contact information. Still to this day we keep tabs on each other. Currently her and her son moved out of town and as far as I know she is doing well. I liked her but again it wasn't meant to be. Now lets get to the real reason why you're here and that's why I cut myself... So this wasn't always a habit. Lets fast forward to foster home 6. Keep in mind at this point Tay and I really didn't think anything was going to work out. This really young couple came in one day and applied to foster children and at the time we were the only kids available because all the other kids already had homes, I know sad right, anyway I knew this wasn't going to be good with the first meeting. The young man was Gerald, I really don't want to bother describing what they looked like. The girls name was Kassidy. The moment we got in the car both of them turned facing us and laid down so many ground rules and the rules were point blank ridiculous. So fast forward to a year living with them. This is right around the time I started cutting because every day I felt I wasn't good enough to these people and they treated Tay so badly that she shut herself down and basically became a robot, did everything they asked her to do, me on the other hand I wasn't putting up with any bs, I would argue anything that I didn't agree with well one night my smart mouth got me messed up. Kassidy punched me knocking me out in front of Taylor and that's not the worst part when I came to Taylor was beat up bad, it broke my heart to see her the way she was she had a busted lip, a black eye and a shattered ear and that's when I had enough and the same night I dragged Tay out of the house and we ran away. Mrs. Statler found us outside the shelter and took us in. This is why I love Mrs. Statler, she called the cops on them for child abuse and to this day they are I believe they are still in prison. With all of that I started cutting when we were still in the shelter but stopped when we got fostered by the people we are currently living with. This couple is really sweet they are in there mid 40s and are so nice. The couple is Jamie a beautiful native American with long and I mean long brown hair and her husband Ty is a black man with a mohawk. The took us in a year ago and up until now I thought everything was going great and then I get that text from Tay last night and she said this "our parents might be leaving us... I already called Mrs. Statler and told her that there is a good chance we are going back. Jamie came up to me and told me that she is really concerned and it might affect our living situation. Ill give you an update as soon as I know" I responded with a sad face emoji and that was all, still haven't had an update and I'm really worried but through all of that I shouldn't be taking my anger out on Emerald who really doesn't deserve this. I will now unbreak the fourth wall but I appreciate you listening to my story and I hope you can see why I am the way that I am... I am sitting next to Emerald and we haven't said a word to one another as I know she's probably mad at me mad really I don't blame her. I mean that's a major secret to be keeping from your best friend. I finally get the courage and poke her shoulder. She looks at me "can we talk?" she ignores my question "Ali how much longer until we are home?" Alicia looks at her with a sweet smile "Just around the corner love" she responds. She turns her back towards me and practically ignores me the rest of the way home. Natasha parks the car and all of us get out and quietly walk up to the apartment. Once we are inside we see Jake on hip laptop in the kitchen He smiles when he sees up but as he goes to say something Emerald storms to their room and slams the door to the shock of everyone. "What happened?" Jake asks as he stands up concerned. I can't hold back anymore as Natasha and Alicia shrug in confusion I step forward. "She's mad at me for this" I say as i pull up my sleeves. Jake rubs his forehead while the girls stand there shocked. "I'm sorry" is all the words I can manage to say. Jake walks up to me and bends down to my level. "how recent" he asks in a soft sweet tone. "not very" I respond. "do your parents know?" Alicia asks in a sweet tone. "no and please don't tell them this is the only really family I have had in years" Jake sighs "we won't I promise." he pushes himself up as Alicia holds out her hand to me I look up at her in confusion "Come on we are going to talk" for a moment I hesitate but take her hand. While giving Natasha and Jake a knowing nod Alicia leads me to her bedroom and shuts the door behind her. "Sit" she says. I listen and for a moment am worries someone that I barely know is going to yell at me but she walks over and sits next to me on the bed. "Look" she says as she shows me her wrist. You can barely see the scar but its there. "see you're not the only one but you need to know that this isn't the answer. and don't worry about Emerald she will come around." she pauses and grabs my hand. "You are an amazing girl and we are so happy to have you staying with us." I look up at her and give her a weak smile. "the cutting is over i never want to do it again, all I want now is for Emerald to forgive me." Alicia smiles at my response "You want to know a not so well kept secret. You are Emeralds first best friend she's ever had. She'll forgive you" after a moment of silence I pull her into a tight hug. "alright ready to go talk to her" I give her a weak smile "I guess so" after one last look at one another we exit the room to Emeralds door wide open. I look at Alicia who just smiles and motions me to go into her room. I muster up some courage and walk into the room to Emerald sitting on the top bunk dangling her feet off the edge. I look up at her and without saying a word I climb up and sit next to her. She looks at me and gives me a weak smile. "so I may have overreacted" she says in sweet tone. I put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "no you didn't that was the reaction I would have done if the roles were reversed but let me tell you this those days are behind me now that you are in my life" she looks at me with concern "why me" I take a deep breath and swallow hard. "because you make me happy Em, you're the best friend anyone could have asked for" she gives me a big smile and pulls me into a hug. "you're amazing too" she whispers in my ear. We break the hug and gaze into one another's eyes. I am going home to handle everything as soon as I can come back you know I will" she gives me a wide smile. We both get off the bed and walk out to the living room holding hand. "I'm ready to go home now. I have a few things I need to take care of" Jake shoots up from the couch and gives me a warm smile "alrighty ill take you home, Em you coming?" Jake says with a warm smile. "Nah I wanna go shoot zombies in the face" Emerald says with a chuckle. We embrace in a quick hug. "see ya dork" she laughs before walking away. I wave at everyone before following Jake out of the house. "okay you pick Mustang or Impala?" he asks. "Mustang is that even a question" we both laugh as he guides me to his car. He holds the passenger door open for me and I always wondered why Emerald was so well behaved and now I can see why Jake is such a nice man. He closes the door then gets in the drivers seat. The moment he starts the car I look at him "I hope you're not disappointed in me" he looks at me and gives me a warm smile a sense of a calm domineer fills the car. "No of course not. We all have done things we shouldn't have." I smile at his words as he backs out of the parking spot. "I promise I won't do it again" he looks at me and smiles "I believe you. Look Zy let me tell you something. I used to cut too when I was a teenager. I ended it when Emerald caught me. That is why she is so sensitive to this subject. Look, we all have demons its apart of human nature. All I am going to say is this Emerald really cares about you so think about that next time you get the urge to want to cut." I take in all of his words and feel a sense of warmth in my stomach. "I am happy to be in all of your lives, you all make me feel like I'm home" he looks at me and puts a comforting hand on my shoulder "don't sell yourself short you have been an amazing houseguest" the rest of the ride home we talk about nonsense until he pulls up at my house. "see you soon Zy" with one last smile I get out of the car ready to face whatever comes to me next... Once I inside the house Taylor runs up and pulls me into a warm hug "I missed you" she says in a shaky tone. After a moment we pull away she has her hair put up in a ponytail. Jamie walks around the corner with a big smile on her face. "hey kiddo welcome home!" she says in an cheery tone. Now I know something fishy is going on because Jamie is really not good at hiding her emotions. I loom at Tay and see the guilty look in her eyes. I fake a smile and run hup and pull Jamie into a hug. "Missed you" she holds me tight. Once we let go I walk into my room and Taylor follows behind me. The moment she shuts the door "so you lied to me. Why did you lie to me" she goes to respond but I cut her off "you know hos sensitive this subject is for me so you better have a good answer" she doesn't respond instead sits on my bed and looks down. I know exactly what she is doing. Ever since she was beat every time there is an argument she shuts herself down. I control my anger and compose myself and sit next to her. "you need to talk to me, you can't shut yourself down like this." for a moment she doesn't respond. I try to put a comforting hand on her shoulder but she cowers away. "Hey its me" I say in a calm sweet voice. Finally she looks at me with tears streaming down her face. "I... I had a panic attack last night and you weren't here so I decided to message you that so you would come home faster. I'm sorry sis" she looks down again and its hard to stay mad at her because as much as I sound like I'm being rude here Taylor is the weaker of us two. She has a really hard time with many things, that's why she always has a flock of people following her around everywhere, she needs that attention and that validation to feel any resemblance of happiness. I feel really bad for her because she wasn't always like this, she at one point was more confident then me. It all comes down to her getting beat, ever since that day she has been changed and I have been trying to get her back to the Taylor that she should be. I know it takes time and as the big sister I need to have some patience. I take her hand and hold it tight. "I understand but you didn't need to lie to me... you had me worried sick, you had me thinking that we are going to have to go back to that shelter for the 8th time... Next time you have a panic attack and I'm not here you call me and tell me the truth and ill do everything I can to calm you down." She looks at me and we lock eyes. "I love you so much Zyra... I'm really sorry I'm so weak" she cries. I pull her into a hug and hold her tight. Trying to hold back tears of my own I rub her back. "You are not weak, you have just been through so much, but know that I will always be here no matter what" After a really long hug we pull apart. "Thank you Zy" she says in a sweet tone. I give her a warm smile and pull out my phone and quickly message Emerald. After I send the message I look at Taylor. "so lets forget that this happened and lets go hang out" She gives me a wide smile, a smile that warms my heart every time....