life is weird

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by depressedplanthoe

by depressedplanthoe

hello dearest gentle readers,

life is weird.

i am approaching my 22nd birthday and read this whole book through that i started writing when i was 18 years old.

it has been 4???? years????? that is crazy.

here is my little update:

i start grad school next week.

i'm working towards becoming a principal and i'm teaching full time.

i'm going to be coaching cheer and wrestling.

and i'm really working to take this time to decipher myself while being a better person to others. i've found that i have a terrible habit of starting all of my sentences with "i". in this situation, it makes sense bc i'm literally using it as a diary about myself.

but, i have found that i make everything about myself, i talk about myself all the time, and it makes me a very unenjoyable person to be around. i am not a good friend to my friends. i'm not even a good person in general.

so while doing mental and physical work on myself, i'm working on changing my habits. i don't want to talk about myself to other people all the time. it's a terrible habit i've probably always had. i want to listen when people talk, i want to be someone that is there for other people, and i want to do it all without selfishness. i think that i am a person that can do that.

i want to challenge myself to not start sentences talking about myself unless asked. I want to challenge myself to be a better friend bc i know i am and can be. For some reason, I let the person I became after lethardnon become one that isn't as kind or as giving as she wants to be.

2023 and 2024 are my years of bettering myself, for myself and for others.

Starting with the second I get home. Even though my roommate drives me absolutely nuts, I want to be a better friend to him because he has been there for me since we were seniors in high school.

I don't quite exactly know how to do that, but I will figure out how I can be better. For everyone.

Furthermore, life is really weird at the age of 21 when you've just graduated college, but you're still a college kid, and you have a full time job and pay bills, but you also drink like an old alcoholic, etc.

This is all a really big transition stage that involves spreading out and growing our friend group, finding personal styles, making time for hobbies that we enjoy, not drinking as much because you somehow have ruined drinking for yourself over the last year and then some.

BRB I JUST GOT AN EMAIL I'VE BEEN WAITING ON THAT MIGHT HAVE REALLY BAD NEWS LOL