Someone To Stay

8 ⚠️

⚠️ PANIC ATTACK ⚠️

I had officially moved in with JJ and I had been at the BAU for a month so far. Reid had been constantly asking me about my relationship status with JJ but nothing was happening. He insisted that JJ was interested in me but...how could he know? "Hey babygirl I brought you some coffee." I heard JJ's voice behind me as she set down a cup of coffee on my desk.

"Thank you honey." I said, taking a sip of my coffee.

"And I thought I would only hear that over the phone with Morgan and Garcia." Reid said.

"And Garcia has a boyfriend. That doesn't mean that something is going on." I told him, he raised his eyebrows and shook his head. I took my files and walked up to her office. "Hey."

"Hey beautiful." She said, taking a sip of her coffee and examining her files. I felt a good feeling in my chest as I pulled a chair up to her desk. "Why'd you come up here?"

"I needed some good company." She laughed and took another sip of her coffee.

"Needed a break from Reid?"

"Yeah." I breathed out, opening my files.

"Well, you're welcome up here anytime."

"I will definitely be taking you up on that." She laughed as I filled out some paperwork.

"Did you take your meds today?" She asked me.

"Yeah, why? You ask me that everyday." We both looked up at each other.

"You said they helped and I want you to be happy."

"I think that's the nicest thing anybody has ever said to me." She smiled and took another sip of coffee.

"Tell me if you ever need a hypewoman I'm always here." I laughed and leaned back in my chair.

"Thank you JJ." I rubbed my hands on my pants to stop them from sweating.

"You ok?" Goddammit she's not even a profiler but she notices every single fucking detail.

"Yeah. The meds help with what I'm diagnosed with but they make my anxiety worse and they make my hands sweat." I explained to her.

"Maybe you need to find different meds."

"I've tried all of the ones that are cleared for PTSD and MDD." I told her.

"Maybe you need one for each. Not one for both."

"Maybe." I started tapping the desk and I put in my earbuds. I started playing music and humming along to it.

"What song is that?"

"You've never heard it? It's Nirvana."

"I almost never listen to music."

"Damn. It's Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana." I felt her looking at me so I looked up to see her smiling.

"You look adorable when you're concentrated." I felt my face flush and I looked down. "You can look at me when you blush Cam."

"Sorry." I looked back up at her and started playing with my fingers. I took my earbuds out and moved my chair closer to her.

"What?" She looked back up from her files and took a sip of coffee.

"Do you wanna order pizza tonight?" I asked her randomly, just wanting to talk to her.

"Yeah sure. Any place you had in mind?"

"Um...no, anywhere is fine." I wiped my hands on my pants again and stood up. "I'm actually gonna go to the bathroom." She nodded and didn't ask any questions as I left. I went to go to the women's restroom and I leaned against the sink, trying to control my breathing.

"You ok?" Emily asked as she walked in.

"Yeah, yeah." I wiped my hands on my pants and walked back up to JJ's office. I dug through my bag and found my meds for panic attacks. I took one with my coffee, hoping she wouldn't see.

"I thought you already took your meds." She told me.

"Well...I don't take these daily." She gave me one nod and then went back to her work. I started to let out shaky breaths and I put my hand on my chest.

"Cam what's wrong?" She got up in a hurry and rushed over to me, closing her blinds.

"It's a panic attack...it should go away in a few minutes just give me some space." She nodded and backed up a few steps.

A couple minutes later it subsided and I was back to normal. "J...can you stack my files for me?" She nodded and put my files in a neat stack. "Thank you. You're the best." I lied my head down on her desk. "Can I take a quick nap?"

"Yeah sure." She stood up and grabbed some files, sitting down on the floor against the wall.

"Where are you going?"

"I thought you might need a better pillow." I smiled at her then got up and put my head down in her lap. She played with my hair occasionally while filling out papers.

"You're the best JJ."