Someone To Stay

52 ⚠️

⚠️ SUICIDE ATTEMPT ⚠️

I was out of work again. Because I had a couple of fractures in my collarbone and I was still healing from my concussion. JJ was at work and I want going to lie. I just felt really bad. Nothing seemed worth it anymore. Nothing. All I did was keep getting hurt and I was just a burden to everyone. Maddy barely called anymore and I wasn't an asset to them team. I had taken so much time off I wouldn't be surprised if they had just forgotten about me. We had no evidence backing up the fact that my kidnapper had sent the photos and no evidence for anyone else. So I was just alone and hopeless.

I took a deep breath as I made the decision. JJ was going to be home in 40 minutes so I had to be fast.

JJ,
I'm really sorry. I really am I promise. I know you always tell me not to apologize but I don't want you to think that I did this to hurt you. Because I would never try to hurt you. Everything has just become too much for me and I can't take it anymore. It hurts so bad and I don't know what to do. Never forget that I love you. Always. I tried really hard, I really wanted to stay here but after a while it just became too exhausting. Please remember that I love you. <3

Love,
Cam

I put it out on the bed and saw that I only had 15 minutes left once I figured out how to word it. I went to the kitchen with shaking hands, grabbing a knife. I walked to the bathroom and sat down in the tub, holding the knife to my wrists. I pressed it down hard and cut fast multiple times so I could make sure that it worked.

I sat in the tub for a few minutes before I started to feel faint. Then I heard the door open...JJ. "Cam?" That was all I heard before it went black.

I was half awake. Like I was conscious but I couldn't open my eyes. My body was too heavy to do anything. "Baby...I feel your heart beating...I know you can hear me. I put tight bandages on your wrists to stop the bleeding. The medics are here." I heard JJ's voice through her sobs. "It's going to be ok...it's gonna be ok."

"Ma'am I need you to step away we need to carry her to a more open area. We don't need to bring her to the hospital but we need to clean her wounds."

"Can I carry her?" JJ whispered.

"Of course ma'am." I felt JJ lift me up and she slowly walked over to our kitchen, placing me down on the kitchen table.

"Are these self harm scars?" The medic asked.

"Yes." I heard JJ's voice as she choked back a sob. I felt a burning sensation on my wrist that woke me up a little bit. I winced and then felt JJ's hands on my face. "Camden...Camden open your eyes." I opened my eyes slightly and saw tears streaming down her face. "Oh my God. I thought I lost you." She kissed my forehead and I felt her tears fall onto my face. "Baby, can you talk?"

"Hi." I breathed out. She smiled widely and caressed my cheeks.

"Hi baby." I gave her a small smile but my heart sunk as I realized that it hadn't worked. "What's wrong?"

"I shouldn't be here." I whispered, trying to sit up. JJ pushed me back down and shook her head.

"What do you mean?" I turned to her and a tear rolled down my cheek.

"It was supposed to work." She opened her mouth but closed it, not knowing what to say.

"Baby...don't say that." She said finally. I looked around the room and saw that the medics were gone. How much time had passed? I sat up and held my head as I started to feel faint. She cupped my face again and stood in front of me as I moved to the edge of the table. "Why? Why did you do this?"

"You read the letter." She nodded and didn't question me any further.

"I really thought I lost you." She kissed my forehead and grabbed my hands. "Don't do that ever again, you promise me?" I turned away from her and she grabbed my face gently. "Cam...promise me."

"I promise."