Someone To Stay

28

A week later I woke up with a nightmare. I reached for JJ but she wasn't there. Shit. I shot up and saw that the room was completely lit up, but she wasn't in the bathroom. "JJ...JJ?" I got out of the bed, starting to feel my heart race as I got dizzy.

"Hey baby I'm right here." She said from the couch. I walked over to her and sat down next to her. "What's wrong."

"Nightmare." I bit my nails and she rubbed my back.

"It's 6:30...we need to leave for work soon."

"Oh shit." I went back to our room and got changed.

She came up behind me and wrapped her arms around me. I jumped and she relaxed her touch. "Sorry." I whispered, walking away from her and heading out the door.

"Cam, why are you walking away from me?"

"I'm not, we need to get to work."

"Want to stop for coffee along the way?" I shook my head as we went down the elevator. "Ok...?"

When we got to the car I got into the passenger seat and she started driving. "Are you awake yet?" She asked me.

"Yeah." That was a weird question.

"You usually need coffee in the morning."

"To calm me down, not to wake me up." I saw her nod out of the corner of my eye.

Once we got to the office I immediately went to my desk and started working. JJ kissed my cheek. "I love you baby." She whispered.

"Mhm." I whispered as I opened my computer files. I could feel Spencer looking at me and I stood up, heading to the bathroom. I looked around and saw that no one else was in there. I went to the biggest stall and sat on the toilet with my feet up, my heart racing.

"Camden, what the fuck is going on?" JJ asked when she walked in. I didn't answer. "I know you're in here." She knocked on the stall door and when I didn't answer she kicked it in. "What's wrong?" She asked me.

"Nothing...I um. I need to make a call." My hands were trembling as I grabbed my cell phone. I dialed my psychiatrist and waited for her to answer. I could feel JJ searching my face, trying to find what was wrong.

"Hey." She grabbed my free hand and kissed it. "Don't lie to me."

"Hey um...this is Camden Frost." I said once she answered the phone. "I was wondering if you could make an appointment for me...anytime works...thank you so much." I hung up and JJ looked at me.

"Who was that?"

"No one." I tried to walk away but she grabbed my arm. I didn't even know how I was walking, my legs were shaking so bad.

"Hey, sit down, you're gonna fall."

"On the bathroom floor?" She sighed and took my hand, leading me to her office. I started pacing around and then I stopped in front of her.

"Camden, talk to me. What's happening? You've been a lot worse lately."

"So you noticed?"

"What do you mean?"

"I've been struggling so hard to not just give up and you're just noticing."

"I drop whatever I'm doing just to make sure that you're ok." She told me. "I don't see you as a burden, and I'm happy to do it because you're the most important thing to me."

"You're right. I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I sat down in a chair and she knelt down in front of me.

"You haven't been telling me what's going on. Every time I ask you what's wrong you just say 'I don't know' so you're going to tell me what's happening right now. Ok?" I shook my head and she sighed. "I can't help you if you don't tell me-"

"I scheduled an appointment with my psychiatrist." I told her.

"That's good. That's really good."

"Yeah..."

"What else?" I looked away from her and stared down at the ground.

"I um...I need to take a break from work."

"Why?"

"I um...I'm really struggling. I just...I really need to focus on my mental health right now, and with this job it's kind of impossible." She nodded and kissed my forehead.

"It's ok. It's nothing to be ashamed of." I nodded. "I'm here for you. Always. I promise."

"Thank you. I love you."

"I love you too." She kissed my cheek and pulled me in for a big hug.