We had just had our one month anniversary and no one knew about our relationship except for Spencer. My work phone ran and I heard JJ's voice. "I am requesting your presence in my office." She said in a low voice. I looked up and saw that the blinds were closed.
"Why?"
"I miss you."
"I'm coming right up." I walked up the stairs and into her office. "What's up?"
"I wanted to see you. You seemed off this morning."
"I was tired, didn't get too much sleep." I explained to her.
"Did you have a nightmare?" She stood up and took a break from her work.
"Yeah." I breathed out.
"Why didn't you talk to me about it?"
"Because I hadn't had one for 12 days and I didn't want to disappoint you."
"Why would you disappoint me?" Her voice was soft as she took a few steps closer to me. "Baby I want you to talk to me about these things. I know things have been getting better for you...but don't ever think that you would disappoint me if you backtrack a little bit." I nodded. "Hey, look at me."
"Sorry."
"Do you need to talk?" I shrugged and looked down at the ground. "Cam...talk to me if you need to, please." I felt a tug at my chest. No one had ever cared about me this much before. I felt a tear slide down my cheek and I wiped it away. "Camden...it's ok."
"I'm sorry." I sat down and put my head in my hands. JJ sat down next to me and put her hand on my back.
"Hey, it's ok. Do you need some water?" I nodded and she came back a minute later.
"JJ...the dream was really bad. I could feel the pain, I can never feel it in my dream I just relive the feeling of it. I thought I was screaming but when I woke up I was frozen. I wanted to wake you up but you looked so peaceful. I couldn't fall asleep. I hadn't had a nightmare that bad in a few years." I admitted.
"You can always wake me up."
"I don't want to annoy you every single day with my problems. I don't let it get in the way of my job, I do all my work but every time I go home or get a break I just...I just break down a little."
"That's ok. I want you to talk to me." She emphasized the words and she was starting to sound a little bit frustrated.
"Look, I'm sorry."
"I really want to help you. I care about you so much Cam. You can always talk to me. I promise." I nodded and she pulled me in for a big hug. She kissed the top of my head repeatedly while I buried my face in her neck. I pulled away after a minute and started talking.
"Things happen at least twice a year. I just, get into a really bad headspace." She nodded.
"Depression?"
"No...I don't know. I've talked to a psychiatrist about it once but never again. She didn't explain any of it to me." She nodded. "Everything kinda goes dark. I don't know what happens. I just know it happens for a couple days. I just know it feels really bad." She nodded.
"Do you think it's going to happen again soon?"
"I don't know JJ..." I trailed off as I felt my voice breaking.
"It's ok baby...you're ok."
"I've been to many psychiatrists and therapists and psychiatrists. I've been diagnosed with a lot of different mental disorders, some have been taken off of my record just so I can get a job, I studied them to try to make sense of what happens in my mind. I majored in psychology and I understand criminals minds. If i try I can understand any mind, the only kind that I can't seem to understand is my own." I whispered. "And it's really scary." I admitted. "I don't know what it does."
"It's ok." She whispered and rubbed my back.
"Please don't go."
"I'm right here."
"I know...just please don't leave me." I pleaded.
"I'm staying."
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Someone To Stay
FanfictionCamden Frost x Jennifer Jareau this story will have a lot of trigger warning and there will be multiple things that could be considered trigger warnings in every chapter so if you're sensitive to any of the things listed below, do not read. the who...