Teenage Dirtbag

Ch 33: New Love, Old Hate

Peyton pov:

Matt convinced me to help him ask Cam out. He wanted it to be special and to go out of his way for her. For the past 2 weeks he's been dedicated on working on what he asked of me.

He wanted to write and sing a song for her, this required him learning enough guitar to play his song and someone to play drums. TJ offered to play for him so long as Matt taught him how to do it.

He went above and beyond for Cam. He wrote his own song, decided to have her brother translate it into Spanish and sing it that way. He studied and worked harder on this than any school project or homework he has ever gotten.

Kenji and I agreed to help him, even if it meant hiding it from Cam. When practice was over we would wait for her to leave and call TJ over to practice on Matt's song.

It made me a little jealous how caring he was towards her. It made me think of my fucked up relationships with Serena and Fallon. I avoided Serena pretty heavily since Fallon and I fooled around.

I was expecting Fallon to be mad or avoid me but she did the opposite, after a couple days that is. When the initial shock of sleeping with me and losing her virginity passed she was coming back to me for more. It was hard for us to keep our hands off each other.

In public she was a total bitch and would avoided me but when she was alone or I was alone she'd pounce on me. She'd even sneak over to my house or have me sneak over to hers to do the deed.

Our sessions weren't kind after the first time, most of it rough and degrading to each other. I cared for her deeply but this situationship hurt me more than anything. It made me drink more and take drugs more often. If I was sober I'd have to think about how much I hate myself for letting her use me.

Still, I couldn't stop myself. All I wanted was her and it felt like she knew that. I felt like she knows she can get away with it because I like her. I would maybe be okay with it if she didn't keep going back to Derek. She swore she was over him and didn't need him but I'd see them making out in the hallway.

Not calling her a slut or anything but I wouldn't be surprised if she slept with him. They seemed more at ease with one another and it pissed me off. I got her in secret while he got to flaunt her off to the world. It was unfair.

If my mind wasn't revolving around her or Matt it was on the band or my home life. The band was doing great, our shows were selling out and we were getting more recognition on social media. That's about the only thing besides drugs that make me happy right now.

My home life was shit though. It was an everyday argument with my father, listening to him spout his bullshit opinions on why I was a piece of shit. He hadn't tried hitting me again but it wasn't like it would last long. Sooner or later he'd cave and hit me, sending a clear message of hate.

My mom was worried about me, saying that I was spiraling and falling apart. I got too fucked up one night and confessed about some of the Fallon situation. She said that a part of me must like being used by her if I allow her to walk all over me. I didn't talk about my extreme personal life again, sticking with subjects like school and my band instead.

I also wasn't being the best sister to Demi but it was hard for me to care about her when she was the apple of my fathers eye. A part of me hated her for being able to walk so freely in the house without being afraid she might get hurt.

A book hits the back of my head and I turn around to see Matt smiling with a glint in his eye. I rolled my eyes and moved over to him, inspecting the notes he made in his book.

"Spanish is hard." He whined, trying to pronounce the words to his song again. I laughed when it sounded choppy and not very fluent.

"Keep working on it. Have Kenji help, he speaks it." I pointed to the guy and he gave a silent thumbs up.